Cal Poly Dolly

My life or yours? A philosophical quest (plus...my blog was mentioned in an online article!)

2012-02-09T14:20:00.000-08:00

Ever wonder what it would be like to live someone else's life? Sure you have. I know I have.

The problem with living someone else's life is that we still take us with us -- wherever we go -- even into someone else's life. (Otherwise, we wouldn't know we were in someone else's life in the first place). So, instead of having the life we do (or don't) know how to deal with -- but are at least used to -- we have a whole set of circumstances that are new to us, a whole new group of people to call family and friends, and yet the same old 'me.'

Forgive me for the philosophical rant, but I'm on a quest to be grateful for my life... ALL the time. I'd rather get used to, and learn to like -- heck, love -- my own life. I seem to be doing pretty well in this life so far. It has it's challenges, but the one thing I think it's important to note is that no one else can be me -- I am the best person for my job. Be you -- and be you well.

On a lighter note, my blog was mentioned in an online article: onlinedegree.com. Scroll to the bottom, as my blog is at #5. I am grateful to the site for mentioning my blog, and wish I'd had the gumption to write something for their article, but the mention is great in and of itself! Thank you to onlinedegree.com!

Electronic media and education

2011-11-19T15:20:00.001-08:00

I'd like to introduce a guest blogger for this piece: Lindsey. Lindsey is interested in the potential of emerging educational technologies, particularly the online college, which today offers everything from a degree in international security to an accredited online Ph.D. all from the comfort of a computer screen. She writes about web-based, electronic and mobile learning and their implications on the future of education.

I look forward to having her on Cal Poly Dolly now and in the future. Here is her article:

Switch to Digital Texts andSave

It's no secret that collegeis expensive. Despite the fact that fewer students are attending collegebecause they can't afford it, tuition and fees are continuing to rise. Aspublicly funded schools lose financing due to budget restraints, universityofficials are forced to recoup the losses in part by asking students to paymore for their education. As it becomes less financially feasible for a personto attend college, many students are searching for multiple ways to save money.One way that students can cut their college bills considerably is a simpleswitch when they purchase textbooks. Not only does the switch save studentsmoney, but it is also easily accessible to all; whether a student is taking onlineclasses orclasses on a college campus. In order to save money, students simply have toswitch from costly, printed textbooks to cheap, digital textbooks.

According to Ohio's Wright State University, more than half ofstudents are wary of using a digital textbook. Students worry that they willnot purchase the correct textbook and will then not be able to receive arefund. Students also fear that they can get scammed when purchasing digitalbooks to download. Since there is no sender address or information given likewhen students purchase printed books, purchasing digital textbooks can appearto be a little sketchy.

However since digitaltextbooks can offer substantial savings, learning how to buy digital textbooksis helpful.

- Stick with sources thatare verified as reputable. While retailers such as Amazon are a good place tostart searching for digital textbooks, many publishers offer digital textbooksdirectly on their website. Some universities also allow students to purchasedigital textbooks through the student bookstore.

- Students should be surethat they have the ability to view the textbook before purchasing. Someretailers require that a person uses their eReader to view a book while othersallow access from a computer. Read the fine print before finalizing a purchase.

- Decide between renting orpurchasing a digital textbook. Renting a book provides access to the text for alimited amount of time, which is great for students who don’t wish to keeptextbooks after their class is finished. Longer rentals cost more money, whilevery short term rentals can be very inexpensive. If a student feels that theywill not need long term access to a digital textbook, renting is likely thebest option.

- There are many booksavailable as cheap, digital text. Students just need to know where to findthem. In fact, the University Of North Alabama recommends buying digitaltextbooks to enjoy savings of up to 40 percent on textbooks. Considering thatthe university sells used printed textbooks at only a 25 percent discount,digital textbooks are the most cost effective type of textbooks.

Students that are unsureabout switching to digital textbooks can reference these examples of books soldon Amazon and see just how much money they will be able to save.

- Financial Accounting by Paul D.Kimmel, Donald E.Kieso, and Jerry J. Weygandt
ISBN: 978-0470534779

This text is available forpurchase as a new, hardcover book at a cost of $199.98. Opting to go with adigital copy lowers the price between $107.60-$48.95.

- Geography by H. J. de Blij
ISBN: 978-0470462423

This text is available forpurchase as a new, hardcover book at a cost of $113.22. The digital copy ofthis text offers substantial savings at $74.00. If a student only needs accessto the text for a limited time, a rental can by purchased as low as $33.97.

- Gardner's Art Through the Ages byFred S. Kleiner
ISBN:978-0495503798

Purchasing a new, paperbackedition of this text costs $132.04. Opting for a digital copy of this textallows a student to save $28.88, at a cost of $103.16.

With college costs steadilyrising, students are starting to search for savings in any way possible. Optingfor digital textbooks, either as a permanent purchase or a rental, can helpstudents save a significant amount of money. Switching from a print textbook toa digital textbook could mean a savings of up to 40 percent, which is a savingsthat can't be ignored for the average college student.

Helloooo...THESIS!

2011-11-17T08:00:00.000-08:00

Alright. It's. About. Time. Time that I came up with a topic on which to do my Master's Thesis, that is. I find it extraordinarily interesting that I've stumbled into a Master's Program that has NO Thesis requirement to speak of, yet this overachiever had to take that option when it was given. I have two classmates who are doing one as well (So, ha! I'm not the only crazy one. Yes, "crazy" is a technical term.)

Onto the Thesis topic (it is spelled with a capital T because it's THAT dang important): The connection between perfectionism and substance use among college freshman. Particularly, I'd like to explore the differences between community college freshman and state university freshman. Call it a convenience sample if you must, but I think it's a topic that lends itself to studying college students, not non-college folk. Additionally, I'd like to point out that a community college has less stringent requirements for entry than a university does, so there may be a difference in perfectionism levels between the two types of students.

DISCLAIMER: This is a work in progress. Not only must I run this past one of my professors, but I also must get a Thesis committee together to undertake this task. It will take me some time to complete. Therefore, it -- the process and the Thesis itself -- will undergo numerous revisions and changes. I look forward to this. That's why I'm still in school.

So, here's the deal: I want your input! I'm getting weary of seeing that people truly are interested in my blog, but fail to comment on most of my entries. I'm wondering why this is? So, if you just want to comment on how I can get more comments on my blog, that's great! However, I'm really looking for input on the intricacies and such of my topic itself. So, comment away. Or, not. It's your choice. Enjoy reading!

Family Therapy and Multicultural Perspectives

2011-09-24T17:57:00.000-07:00

Following are my thoughts on multicultural diversity and marriage family therapy. I typed it for a class (so, yes, it's homework) but it seems worthy of publication on my blog because the issues addressed don't typically get talked about on this page. Hope you enjoy!
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Given the many facets of a human being, it is appropriate to approach family work with “cultural”, “ecological,” and “contextual” sensitivity. It would seem an implausible task to try to understand a client, let alone help them if their environment and context are not taken into account.

In Bronfenbrenner’s article on the ecology of the family (1986), he discusses how many of the different interactions between mesosytems of the identified patient affect the clients in question by the use of his Ecological Model. He points out different dynamics between the Microsystems within the mesosystems and one of the points he made was in regards to the existence of a “support system” outside the home; he pointed to the fact that when the church is included in this support system, there is a lower occurrence of neglect in the home. Also, with regard to father’s job, an exosystemic influence, he showed how the father’s type of work skills are mirrored in the types of skills he uses to parent his children.

In McGoldrick’s (1995) article on family trees, she explains how the microsystem of the immediate family affects the outcome of the identified patient. Using Ben Franklin’s life as a template for this theory, she shows how the attention of an uncle can influence the importance the identified patient places on family. Ben Franklin formed an alliance with his granddaughter in much the same was as his son formed an alliance with his own granddaughter. Furthermore, the father-child relationships were strained in much the same way between Franklin and his son William and William and his daughter Temple. Family inheritances involve much more than just money and genes and a pattern of behavior can be easily traced back through generations. One must consider the context of the family as it pertains to current behavior in the identified patient in order to understand all the influences that are working upon the dynamics between the identified patient and others in his/her life.

When working with diverse families, it is important to adjust our theoretical orientation to encompass the needs of the client, not simply our understanding of the client at that time. It takes time to truly get to know the inner workings of a client and the environmental influences that affect the client in unique ways. Traditional family therapy concentrates on the “nuclear family” that only exists in 6% of U.S. homes (McGoldrick & Hardy, 2008). We fail to address the true needs of our clients if we fail to take into account the individual differences between our clients and their families. In consideration of family hierarchies in individualistic versus collectivist cultures, it is important to note that individualistic cultures have a much more egalitarian marital couple unit and that deference to those higher on the family hierarchy is stressed in collectivist cultures (Falicov, 1998). It can be challenging to treat a client or clients who have different worldviews than our own; trying to get a couple to reach a compromise may be appropriate for a Western family unit, but may be inappropriate and even harmful to an Eastern-influenced couple. Therapeutic interventions must be adjusted in accordance with the values of the family being treated. There is no cookie-cutter approach to therapy; the unique inner workings of the family must be accounted for when deciding what therapeutic intervention will be most suitable.

Another point-of-view difference between traditional Western families (individualistic) and Eastern or collectivist cultures is the existence of family triangles. It may be challenging to watch what we deem to be a pathological interaction between our clients without attempting to change it. Triangulation is seen as pathology in families of Western descent (Falicov, 1998), however it may be a functional mode of conflict resolution for more collectivist cultures. In families of German descent, it is common for the children to take precedence privately with the mother, whereas she pays deference to the father only when he is around (Falicov, 1998). This may be seen as “keeping secrets” or being dishonest or disloyal by Western standards. It is important not to pathologize interactions between family members if the family is functioning well in spite of the existence of what we may term pathology – it may be a knee-jerk reaction to try to get our clients to interact with each other on a seemingly more “honest” level, but we may do more damage than good if we make the decision for them. Exploring the ways in which a family’s system is working for them first, is important in determining what needs to change.

According to McGoldrick and Hardy (2008), the disorders of our society seem to be heavily influenced by sociopolitical forces at play. Slavery, as an example, gave rise to distinct disorders named in the DSM – disorders that no longer exist because of society’s views on slavery changing (McGoldrick & Hardy, 2008). In much the same way, family therapy has neglected to take into account race and other demographic factors because they were not deemed as important to family therapy specifically (McGoldrick & Hardy, 2008). It is of paramount importance for family therapists to place emphasis on the historical background of their clients in order to properly treat the issues the client is having. Family therapists should have training experience that includes perspectives taught from a non-European-American viewpoint in order to include other race/ethnicity’s viewpoints (McGoldrick & Hardy, 2008). It seems imperative at this point to open our minds up to what’s working, regardless of the origin.

It is important to not impress our worldview upon our clients. We must take into account the society in which we live as well as the historical background of the client. In our money-driven society (Laszloffy, 2008), we tend to focus on luxury issues instead of the living problems our clients may have. Not all of our clients are going to be as affluent or as poor as we are. It is important to take into account the client’s socioeconomic status as well as the cultural background to integrate appropriate and feasible interventions with our clients; it is inappropriate and unhelpful to expect a client to attend three-times-weekly meetings if transportation is an issue for them. It is of vital importance to assist the client in helping themselves and we cannot do this if we fail to take into account their resources. Social class is a barrier to therapy, but it can be overcome with creativity and ingenuity.

If we, as therapists can open our minds up to other cultures and their teachings, we open the door to exploring a multitude of other influences such as spirituality and indigenous healing practices (McGoldrick & Hardy, 2008). It seems that as long as we don’t decide that we are the final authority over our clients and that we develop a working alliance with them, we will help the client overcome difficulties and that our interventions will be pertinent to their lives.

REFERENCES

Bronfenbrenner, U. (1986). Ecology of the family as a context for human development: Research perspectives. Developmental Psychology, Vol. 22 (No. 6), 723-742.

Falicov, C.J. (1998). The cultural meaning of family triangles. In McGoldrick, M. (Ed.), Re-Visioning family therapy (pp. 37-49). New York: Guilford.

Laszloffy, T.A. (2008). Social class: Implications for family therapy. In McGoldrick, M. & Hardy, K.V. (Eds.), Re-Visioning family therapy (pp. 48-60). New York: Guilford.

McGoldrick, M. (Ed.). (1995). You can go home again: Reconnecting with your family. New York: W.W. Norton & Co.

McGoldrick, M. & Hardy, K.V. (2008). Re-Visioning family therapy from a multicultural perspective. In McGoldrick, M. & Hardy, K.V. (Eds.), Re-Visioning family therapy (2^nd ed.) (pp. 3-24). New York: Guilford.

Perception is Everything

2011-06-10T11:59:00.000-07:00

Ever heard of the old adage, "Life is 20% of what happens to us and 80% of how we view it"? Then this blog post is dedicated to you!

I've been exercising a bit more heartily lately (read: I've taken up jogging, again) and I've realized that listening to the same songs on my MP3 player over and over again is taking a toll on my morale. Frankly, if I can't lose myself in the music, then I start wondering why I'm moving a muscle at all and I start thinking about how I could be watching a movie or surfing the web, etc... You get the picture.

So, it's no surprise that ScienceDaily.com had an article for my perusing -- on the subject of how music changes our way of thinking. In fact, the study they carried out had participants seeing smiley faces where there were none. Click on the link for the details on the study. In a nutshell, participants perceived positive emotions in their environment simply by listening to upbeat music. Actually, this doesn't surprise me a great deal, but it still speaks volumes for why I want to update my playlist. If I can get into the groove of jogging simply by making my music experience more upbeat, then I'm on it! Excuse me, I've got work to do...

Sleep Deprivation as Treatment for Depression?

2011-05-03T09:59:00.000-07:00

So, again I asked myself this morning: What can I research? I recently heard from a medical provider that sleeping too much can actually make depression worse for some people. That's okay for the majority of people who suffer from depression: WebMD.com states that 85% of people with depression actually suffer from insomnia, rather than hypersomnia (sleeping too much).

So, what about the other 15%? One article recommends that for healthy adults, seven to nine hours of sleep is sufficient and goes on to explain that sleep deprivation can actually be considered a treatment for some folks with depression. It also goes on to explain that "death" can be a "side effect" from sleeping over nine hours per night (meaning, that people who sleep more than nine hours have a higher mortality rate -- they don't know why this is, either. Scary? You bet it is).

I personally need a lot of sleep. I find that I function better that way. I'm interested to find out how this is for other people. As far as sleep deprivation being a treatment for depression? Apparently, according to another article on WebMD.com, this was an old treatment that became outmoded by the use of antidepressant medication. In the most recent methods utilizing sleep deprivation, it is used in conjunction with antidepressant medication and may be helpful for patients considered to be treatment-resistant to normal methods. For the full text of the article, check out: WebMD sleep deprivation article. I'm going to take a nap.

Depression: The New Era of Classification

2011-04-19T10:20:00.000-07:00

DSM-IV-TR

So, I woke up this morning with the idea that I would look up which type of depression is worse in the morning...on the internet. Everyone knows that scanning the internet (even, ahem, Wikipedia) is not the most reliable method of obtaining accurate information. Nevertheless, I thought I'd try. I am only familiar with the following categories that depression exists under, classified under the Mood Disorders section of the DSM-IV-TR:

Dysthymic Disorder
Major Depressive Disorder
Bipolar Disorder and its associated Depression
Cyclothymic Disorder

There are several "specifiers" that describe certain features associated with the above diagnoses, such as Melancholic Features, Atypical Features, Catatonic Features, and the like.

So, you'll imagine my surprise when my research turned up the following term as a type of depression that is worse in the morning: Melancholic Depression. I also noted that the terms "Psychotic Depression" and "Catatonic Depression" were getting thrown around as well. I'm confused.

Those in the psychology profession are familiar with the psychologist's "Bible" (A.K.A. the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, or DSM). The DSM is under revision and hence has the suffix: "IV-TR" meaning it is in it's fourth edition, currently under revision. The full title of the text is DSM-IV-TR. The panel of experts and professionals currently involved in the DSM-IV-TR revision process are discussing the changes associated with what will be released as the fifth edition of the DSM and will be appropriately dubbed the DSM-V.

Why do I bring this up? Well, it's simple: if a psychological professional needs to know what diagnosis his or her client's symptoms fall under, the DSM-IV-TR is the book to consult. It has undergone several revisions and with this current process of revisions, diagnoses are being categorized differently than they were before. I have the most recent copy of the DSM and it has no category of depression labeled "Melancholic Depression." However, the Melancholic Features Specifier does describe a depression that is worse in the morning. I can only assume that this surprise category that turned up is a result of this revision process.

On a very circuitous path, I found my answer. I also found a reason to pay more attention to the revision process of the DSM. It is, after all, the book I shall be married to in my practice. I must learn to love it.

Animals and Emotions

2011-03-14T10:31:00.000-07:00

Have you hugged your pet lately?

Oh, how I love ScienceDaily.com! Let me count the ways...

I was in a conversation last night where a friend of mine was explaining to me why a cat curls up next to a human. From what he said, I deduced the following: It's not because they're cold (they have fur) or they're bored (they like to chase nothing) or they're hungry (if you're not holding food, LOL), but it's because they want companionship. Who would've guessed! A cat or other animal seemingly has no object but to eat, sleep and... well, you get the picture. So, I decided to see if my favorite website had anything to say about the issue. Sure enough!

ScienceDaily.com has an article (for the actual article, click here: Science Daily article) where they talk about how animals use emotion to make decisions. According to the article, an animal's environment shapes the way the animal "feels" (negative or positive emotions) and that those emotions are reflected in the decisions the animal makes. So, if your cow is depressed or anxious because it is always in peril of being eaten by a coyote, it will tend to make interpretations of a stimulus (such as a bush moving) as a negative event -- mainly, that a predator is lurking in that bush.

It would seem from this article that anxiety and other negative emotions can affect animals in similar ways to humans. Humans don't tend to have a high quality of life if they are constantly on guard or depressed. Maybe your Fido or Fluffy could benefit from some positive emotions from you -- and maybe a little hug wouldn't hurt either.

Exercise and the Presidential Active Lifestyle Award

2011-03-12T09:55:00.000-08:00

Alright, so I've been hearing for YEARS that exercise is a great form of stress control, lowers your blood pressure, and is good for cardiovascular health.

I started a regular exercise program in 2004, and have been steady at it for at least 20 minutes a day (now it's more like 35-40 minutes a day) 5 days a week ever since. Here's a list of the types of activities I go for:

Jogging
Walking
Stationary exercise bicycle
Aerobics (purchased DVD or online at sparkpeople.com)
Yoga

I'm feeling the itch to get into some more activities and am considering getting a gym membership. For the past 7 weeks, I've also taken on the President's Challenge which is to remain active for 5 days a week for 6 out of 8 weeks and I've succeeded at that and beyond! So, I'm ramping it up a bit: I'm going to go for the bronze award they have posted on their website (click the link above). I know this all sounds hokey and a bit cheesy, but for me, I need the motivation and if someone's gonna give me a pat on the back for doing what I normally do anyways, I'm all for it!

I challenge you to do the same. The site offers a great way to remain accountable and the awards offer motivation that normally isn't available. I'm psyched to exercise now because I know I get to log my progress somewhere. See what it can do for you! I gotta run... (no pun intended)

Mental Health and the Diagnosis-Happy Professional

2011-03-05T08:45:00.000-08:00

Recently, I heard of the following story: a woman, distraught and led by a close friend (who's also a mental health professional) to seek mental health assistance was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder at the third session.Granted, it was an intern who approached the diagnosis (haphazardly, at best) with the client and it was her supervisor (supposedly) that gave her the idea. But, really. Who are we to be slapping a label onto someone who comes in asking for help?

To be more specific about the needs of the woman, she was going through an extremely tumultuous divorce. Given the following symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder and we could see why a (insight-lacking) intern might make the call to say the woman had BPD:

1) Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior*** covered in Criterion 5.
2) A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
3) Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
4) Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).
Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior*** covered in Criterion 5.
5) Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior***.
6) Affective [mood] instability.
7) Chronic feelings of emptiness.
8) Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).
9) Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

See how the symptoms mimic what many people go through during the course of a breakup? To be sure, the woman did not have Borderline Personality Disorder. And, thanks to her friend, she was able to be reassured that she didn't. But the effects of having a "professional" label someone like that is much more damaging than it may initially seem and it stays with the client.

A lot of mental health professionals think they have the magic diagnosis stick and can bop any readily-available client on the head with it and be correct. This is so wrong on so many levels. True, diagnosis is needed for insurance purposes. But, to label a human being with a disorder when all they wanted was a listening ear, is a tragedy at the very least. It's no wonder non-professionals do this labeling every day -- even with themselves. The label is not the point. Being a good therapist/friend/listener is.

Just a little F.Y.I.

2011-02-23T11:07:00.000-08:00

Nope. No research today! I've been struggling to find a topic for my latest blog post that would be useful and beneficial to those who read it, but I've come up short. I've perused ScienceDaily.com all the way to (gasp!) wikipedia.com and I can't seem to come up with a topic.

So, I'll just share what I know: fatigue.

It's come to my attention that at this point in the quarter (week 8, to be exact), my brain and my body do not cooperate with one another. I can take my body to all the places it needs to go (school, appointments, and the like) but my brain keeps checking out, getting distracted, and just, well, plain not cooperating with my plan for the day.

So, given the fact that I'm a "talk therapy" advocate, I'll "talk" about it.

I'm frustrated with the fatigue that hits me at this point in the quarter. I try to accomplish homework and my other life obligations and I just can't seem to get the motivation up to even exercise (which is a 5-times-weekly activity for me, so I'd say it's already a habit and shouldn't be subject to "motivation"). However, I have to get into acceptance about the fact that my body can only do so much. But, I still balk at the idea of "letting things go." After all, there's always so much to be done! But, as I've heard before (from a wise person, I'm sure), much more useful work gets done if one is prepared and well rested for it.

I think I'll go take a nap. Just kidding. Maybe...

Financial Aid and Grad School

2011-02-18T09:36:00.000-08:00

Getting a higher education isn't easy. Or cheap. Going to a public university is definitely cheaper than going to a private one (think USC and their $30,000 plus tuition yearly). However, the fact that even one of my classmates is having a hard time paying for school and that this necessitates him or her to work, really chaps my hiney, so to speak.

I know I've written about financial aid on my blog before, and I'd like to offer up some suggestions again, but I'm no expert. I'm hoping that others who may read this post will take heart and offer up their own suggestions, so that others may benefit from their wisdom.

If and until that happens, I've dug up some book titles for scholarship searches and websites that may be of help:

www.fafsa.com (apply for financial aid online)
www.fastweb.com (access to financial aid info and scholarship search)
"1001 Ways to Pay for College" -- good for a wide range of scholarship and financial aid ideas
Your local library -- oftentimes has Scholarship Books or other resources for student financial aid planning

These are all books and resources I've used myself. But this, by no means, is even a slightly exhaustive list. I'm sure there's more resources than I could possibly research and put on this blog. But, at least it's a good start! Hope it helps!!

Studying, Stress and College Midterms -- separating myth from fact

2011-02-16T07:40:00.000-08:00

Some strategies students have been employing for -- ahem -- centuries (I'd venture to guess) are actually not effective and may cause the already-present school stress to compound itself. According to about.com, the following strategies may trick you into thinking you're a good student, but in fact, cause more problems than they alleviate. Here's the highlights that do not work:

Studying in an "all nighter" fashion
Drinking excessive amounts of caffeine
Cramming at the last minute
Studying with friends you normally hang out with (duh)

Not only do the above-named strategies cause more stress sometimes, but also, the information you think you're getting into your head may only be short-term. This means you may end up either forgetting the information or having to learn it again at some point in the future. (For all you naysayers that implore: "I'll never need to learn quadratic equations again!" -- most people end up at least taking "one more math class" at some point in their college career.)

This led me to explore what stress "looks" like. Here's just a portion of the list I found on the University of Buffalo site:

feeling anxious, scared, irritable or moody
Inability to concentrate
Worrying about the future
Preoccupation with thoughts/tasks
Forgetfulness (this is a big one for me)
Crying for no apparent reason
Acting impulsively
Tiring easily
Urinating frequently (yep)
Sleeping Problems
Loss of appetite or overeating
Susceptibility to illness

While we can't necessarily avoid stress, there are some things we can do about it. Proper self-care is a concept I've been trying to teach myself for quite some time. It's not easy. You need to make your health (mental, physical and spiritual, if you will) a priority, and this means that sometimes, not everything will get done. Time management is essential -- whatever form this takes, there are some things you can do to alleviate the stress. Here's my main ones and some others I picked up off another web site:

Exercise regularly
Get regular sleep and sleep enough hours per night
Eat healthfully
Journal about what is stressing you (or life in general)
Meditation
Yoga
Deep Breathing
REDUCE caffeine intake

There's plenty more things you can do to take care of yourself. It's especially important to make yourself a priority and to schedule in down-time to your day. It makes the busy times more productive and encourages positive mood! So, go out there, and tackle the world! Or, at least, your homework.

All you need is love, love....

2011-02-14T08:48:00.000-08:00

A study performed by the University of Chicago says that men derive health benefits from being married to a significant other woman in their lives. Specifically the study states:

"...married men actually live longer, fuller lives than their bachelor counterparts--primarily, researchers say, because of the love and continuous support system that a wife can provide."

The study was based on a stay-at-home wife versus one who works outside the home full-time. The difference between health benefits of each was 25 percent! The man whose wife works outside the home benefited less.

So, besides the obvious emotional benefits of marriage, apparently you can benefit health-wise also!

Have a Happy Valentines Day!

So this mouse with a cane walked into a bar...

2011-02-12T08:22:00.000-08:00

Wow. Mickey's not lookin' so hot these days. Wonder why? Could it be all that processed food and diet soda he's been drinking and eating lately? According to a study published by the FASEB journal on sciencedaily.com (one of my fave websites), looks like this could be the case.

As in any good research study, the researchers used mice to find out the effects of junk food on the human body -- it's meant to translate from the effects on mice to the effects on us. What they found was that the preservatives, phosphates to be exact, actually accelerate the aging process in mice. Poor, old mice.

The study specifically cites soda as one of the resident evils of the junk food industry. That's one of my faves. I drink diet soda like most people drink water. Since most people drink it for its caffeine, they may not think about all the phosphates included in their slurp or gulp. It may be time to start paying attention. That is, if you want to live a little longer. Have a nice, long day!

Psychotic Illness Linked to Cannibis and Other Substances

2011-02-08T08:52:00.000-08:00

Pot has often been called the "gateway drug" due to it's ability to introduce a person to the world of drug use with seemingly benign side effects. Apparently, this is no longer the widely-held belief. Researchers have found that early-onset psychotic illness has been linked to the use of cannibis.

ScienceDaily.com has published an article on this very subject. As with other blog entries, I'll attempt to give a short synopsis of the article (call it "research lite" if you will):

Cannibis is used by more than 16 million Americans (translation: this doesn't include all the people hanging out in Netherlands' "Red Light District")
Pot is not the only substance linked to psychotic illness; think: methamphetamine-induced psychotic disorder
Those who use drugs, and more often, use pot, develop symptoms of psychosis an average of 2 years younger than those who do not use drugs
Those who are predisposed to developing schizophrenia can influence the symptoms' early appearance by using cannibis
Those who have early onset of schizophrenia tend to have a worse prognosis overall
Smoking cigarettes while pregnant has been linked to the development of psychotic symptoms in the child during their teenage years (thanks ScienceDaily.com)

If you do not have a genetic propensity to develop psychotic disorder, you won't necessarily develop one by substance use. Schizophrenia won't be "caused" by substance use. But, as stated above, methamphetamine-induced psychotic disorder is real. Cigarettes are more malicious than they sound. And, who wants to take a chance anyways?

Thyroid Symptom, Depression, or Simple Fatigue?

2011-02-08T07:39:00.000-08:00

Thyroid Gland

I've often appreciated the plain language on about.com and their seeming ability to take complicated issues and explain them in layman's terms.

I especially appreciate it when my doctor tells me I need to get my thyroid checked when I seem to be having symptoms that I wouldn't normally associate with my thyroid (like a cold-tremble feeling in my body). For the record, I am diagnosed with hypothyroidism and have been getting my blood drawn/meds adjusted off and on since I was 14 years old.

What I didn't know was that it can cause symptoms that mimic depression or malnutrition. To explain thyroid issues, here's a primer:

hypOthyroidism is:

an underactive thyroid gland; a glandular disorder resulting from insufficient production of thyroid hormones
wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

while hyPERthyroidism is:

an overactive thyroid gland; pathologically excessive production of thyroid hormones or the condition resulting from excessive production of thyroid hormones
wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

Either way, a person's energy level and personal sense of well-being are affected. I concentrate on the issues surrounding hypOthyroidism because the symptoms tend to mimic Depression, another fave research topic of mine. Here are some of the greater and lesser known symptoms of the disorder according to about.com (it's a long list, so scroll down about halfway for the lesser known and more surprising symptoms:

·         I am gaining weight inappropriately
·         I'm unable to lose weight with diet/exercise
·         I am constipated, sometimes severely
·         I have hypothermia/low body temperature (I feel cold when others feel hot, I need extra sweaters, etc.)
·         I feel fatigued, exhausted
·         Feeling run down, sluggish, lethargic
·         My hair is coarse and dry, breaking, brittle, falling out
·         My skin is coarse, dry, scaly, and thick
·         I have a hoarse or gravely voice
·         I have puffiness and swelling around the eyes and face
·         I have pains, aches in joints, hands and feet
·         I have developed carpal-tunnel syndrome, or it's getting worse
·         I am having irregular menstrual cycles (longer, or heavier, or more frequent)
·         I am having trouble conceiving a baby
·         I feel depressed
·         I feel restless
·         My moods change easily
·         I have feelings of worthlessness
·         I have difficulty concentrating
·         I have more feelings of sadness
·         I seem to be losing interest in normal daily activities
·         I'm more forgetful lately

Other symptoms commonly associated with hypothyroidism patients:
My hair is falling out
·         I can't seem to remember things
·         I have no sex drive
·         I am getting more frequent infections, that last longer
·         I'm snoring more lately
·         I have/may have sleep apnea
·         I feel shortness of breath and tightness in the chest
·         I feel the need to yawn to get oxygen
·         My eyes feel gritty and dry
·         My eyes feel sensitive to light
·         My eyes get jumpy/tics in eyes, which makes me dizzy/vertigo and have headaches
·         I have strange feelings in neck or throat
·         I have tinnitus (ringing in ears)
·         I get recurrent sinus infections
·         I have vertigo
·         I feel some lightheadedness
·         I have severe menstrual cramps           source: about.com

A lot of the time, I post things on my blog that I feel would be helpful to many people. This means that I research things that would be (hopefully) surprising to most people and would allow them to have a reason to go to their doctor instead of suffering with symptoms they have no explanation for. Of course, as a disclaimer, I must say "Do not try to self-diagnose or self-medicate." That's what doctors are for.

For the rest of my readers, I'm hoping it will be interesting fodder for your active brains. Enjoy.

Grad Students: Adult v. Non-Adult students

2011-02-05T08:42:00.000-08:00

Seems my brain has gone on a semi-permanent hiatus lately. It's a mere 5 weeks into the 11-week quarter and I've already fallen behind on my reading. It's a far cry from where I was as an undergrad, though! I was lucky if I even got to the reading! Thank goodness for discipline.

So, I wonder, do Grad Students have more issues with exhaustion than Undergrad Students? It begs consideration. I decided to do a little research.... and this is what I came up with -- a professor's perspective:

"When beginning a program, students should expect to feel overwhelmed...I must say my adult learners seem to do very well with balancing the many issues they have going on, such as school, life and work. Not to say that my other students don't do well, it's just that the adult learners seem to be able to keep up with little or no foreseen problems." --gradschools.com

Well, I must say, that's a relief! There certainly are many trials one must get through just to be able to go to a Graduate-level program. Then, once one gets there, it's even more difficult to succeed. Grad School is not for the faint of heart! I believe this is a well-known thing, but I needed to see it in print for myself.

The article goes on to say that time management is an essential part of keeping the "overwhelm" in check. I haven't personally gotten to the point where I feel like I've mastered time management, but I'll let you know when I get there!

This is your snail, this is your snail on drugs....any questions?

2011-02-03T23:09:00.000-08:00

Seems that according to Science Daily.com, a woman researcher by the name of Barbara Sorg, from Washington State University, has decided to get some snails (specifically: " the pond snail Lymnaea stagnalis") addicted to methamphetamine for the purposes of studying what meth does to the memory.

The article goes on to explain that while addicts may be able to stop using a drug for a period of time, the brain still stores a memory for the use of the drug. Further, according to the studies performed by Sorg and a colleague, methamphetamine makes the memories formed "under the influence" harder to forget. So why get a snail high, you ask? It seems that snails have a memory for whether or not they should raise their pneumostomes (oxygen-suckers) above the water, according to the quality of the water -- and whether or not the water was laced with methamphetamine.

I believe the researchers are trying to draw a parallel between relapse on methamphetamine and the memory the brain has for common environments associated with the drug. In simplified terms this means that if you are exposed to an environment you used to use methamphetamine in, you are more likely to succumb to the memory of using and do it again. Interesting. And, unnerving.

And, ultimately, it's a questionable thing to do to a poor animal. So I just want to give a shout-out to all the lab animals who were sequestered for this experiment: Thanks for your sacrifice, little guys!

Addicted to Facebook?

2011-02-01T10:20:00.000-08:00

CNN has an article online (click the blog title to check it out) on Facebook addiction and the signs to look for if you're a proponent of staying on the computer way past your bedtime and ignoring things like *life* to check in on the computer.

Facebook users are even posting links to satires of the Facebook phenomenon, underscoring its salience in today's technology. Check this one out: "Failbook"
It shows the possible (and probable) banter that occurs daily on the hit url.

Pretty interesting how we have laymen who understand the psychology behind how and why people post the things they do online for the world to see, mindless as they are, and then can't seem to untangle themselves from the keyboard long enough to grab another cup of coffee. See, this is me doing that same thing right now. Perhaps I'm addicted.

But before we go that far let's peruse a few of the "warning signs" CNN believes either supports my argument that I'm a Facebook-freak, or shoots it down altogether:

Pile's "Facebook Compulsion Inventory" is a psychological test-of-sorts that shows whether or not your interest in Facebook is minor, or social life threatening: Pile's Facebook Compulsion Inventory --The test includes items such as the following:

"I have more in common with the people I chat with on Facebook than I have with my spouse or partner."
"Sometimes I lose sleep because of the time I spend on Facebook."
"I feel excited and energized when I access my Facebook page."
"I feel that others would think less of me if they could see my private messages on Facebook."

There's several other criteria that tend to point to Facebook addiction, but I think you get the idea. Take the test. That is, if you're not too busy on Facebook.

What Depression Looks Like.

2011-01-30T10:32:00.000-08:00

I've written before in this blog about different issues and ailments that a certain percentage of the population has to contend with. Depression is just one of these issues. Sometimes, though, it's hard to spot. Here's a list of the most common symptoms, followed by a list of not-so-commonly known ones:

Common Depression Symptoms:

fatigue and decreased energy
feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
overeating or appetite loss
persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings
thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts

Not-so-Commonly Known Symptoms:

difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
irritability, restlessness
persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/detecting-depression

This last symptoms is one that took even me by surprise (as I have personal knowledge of what depression looks like, in all it's ill-fated glory). The idea that a psychological ailment can manifest itself as pain in the body is something that I've intuitively known for years. I've been a casual student of the school of thought that we cannot escape negative cognitions. Our thoughts do not go away simply because we ignore them. But to think that they can show back up in our body is amazing and a little off-putting at the same time.

The main point I'm trying to get across here is this: Depression is a real thing. If you or someone who is close to you is dealing with the above symptoms, it would behoove you to get him/her/yourself a doctor's appointment and a referral to a mental health professional. The hype and stigma surrounding mental illness is a tragedy, but no one should let it become their own personal tragedy. Help is available. There are plenty of medications and types of therapy that can and do treat depression symptoms. Getting out of bed and doing normal every day tasks shouldn't be difficult -- take advantage of the help that is attainable to us. You're worth it.

It's easier to keep smoking than we thought...

2011-01-28T09:47:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, there was an ex-smoker. He went to a movie. He saw someone smoke. He smoked. The end.

Well, not really. I heard of a study done many years ago that said that if you go to a movie and sit and watch the entire thing (not including potty breaks, of course) that your brain is actually tricked into thinking that you're actually there with the actors, in the same situation.

Ever wonder why you come out of a movie sad (if it's a drama), on edge (if it's an action film), angry (if there's a lot of violence), or giddy (if it's a comedy)??? This is why. So, it's no surprise to me that the following study showed that smokers who see other smokers smoke, even in a film, will be more likely to light up the next time. [Click on the blog title for the whole article]

It doesn't seem fair, but there's been a study done on it. Here's an excerpt:

In this study, researchers led by senior investigator Todd Heatherton, PhD, and graduate student Dylan Wagner of Dartmouth College set out to determine whether the parts of the brain that control that routine gesture could be triggered by simply seeing someone else smoke. The authors found that seeing this familiar action -- even when embedded in a Hollywood movie -- evoked the same brain responses as planning to actually make that movement. These results may provide additional insight for people trying to overcome nicotine addiction, a condition that leads to one in five U.S. deaths each year.

Think about it next time you follow someone outside to chat and they light up a cigarette. I'm not sure what the implications are for non-smokers, but beware. It's an interesting, yet scary, phenomenon.

Cognitive differences between men and women

2011-01-27T10:17:00.000-08:00

Just in case you were wondering, men are from another planet. Just kidding. We do think differently, however. Click on the post title and you'll discover what I did:

Men tend to be better at things like mathmatics
Women tend to be better at things like language.

So, women: When someone tells you that women talk too much, tell them it's the way we're wired -- literally. There's a deficit in word-usage between men and women of several thousand words. See this article on "Sex Linked Lexical Budgets." It talks about how women use 20,000 words a day, while men use 7,000. You do the math. Given this information, it's no wonder why men think women talk too much, but just remember: We're wired that way.

How to catch a Drunk Driver - 2011 edition

2011-01-25T07:04:00.000-08:00

A new device is able to detect alcohol through a person's skin. This is the newest alcohol-detecting device since the breathalyzer, which is now being referred to as "messy." I call it the temporal-swipe-thermometer-version of a breathalyzer. They call it spectroscopy, or the "TruTouch 1100." I like my term better.
Science Daily:

'Save your breath, a new tool for testing suspected drunk drivers will have cops asking, ”Stick out your arm.”'

TruTouch 1100 spectroscope

This is the latest in technology as reported by Science Daily, a site devoted to research, technology and education as it relates to science. I've visited this site on a number of occasions, mostly when I'm topped-off with information for my regular studies and I need a break and something interesting to read. Here's a link to the article: http://www.sciencedaily.com/videos/2007/1105-new_booze_busting_device.htm It also has an interesting video...

The article explains that there's at least 17,500 drunk driving-related deaths each year. I've got a friend I've known since just after high school who was one of two survivors in a car she was a passenger in with a drunk driver. She limps to this day. She was lucky. Maybe this new device will help more people. We can only hope.

Electronics and the Disabled Student

2011-01-22T04:28:00.000-08:00


The Livescribe Echo Smartpen

I wanted to share with you the electronic "assistants", so to speak, that I'm using this quarter to help me through school. I've got to say, this is the most organized and productive quarter I've had so far. Here's what I'm using and what I'm using the item for:

Livescribe Echo Smartpen

records lectures in real-time and syncs them to the place you touch in your handwritten notes

Sansa Fuze + MP3 player

I use it to play audiobooks, which I got from RFB&D -- "Reading for the Blind and Dyslexic" site

Asus EEE PC 1000HA (a netbook that weighs under 3 pounds)

used for notes, papers and correspondence with instructors online -- light enough to put in a large purse

With the above tools, I can come home and plug my Live Scribe pen into my computer, watch my notes pop up on the screen and click in any area to hear what the prof. was saying at that point in the lecture. Then I can pop my headphones in and listen to any textbook I have on the Sansa -- that way my lack of concentration doesn't get the best of me. The computer is small enough to take anywhere, so I can work on a research paper at home or even while waiting in the doctor's office. NEAT-O!

I can honestly say that I am grateful to be a disabled student in this day and age. The electronics that have been developed in just the past 20 years are amazing! I remember, as a sixth grader, sitting at a *clunky* desktop computer and being taught how to write MS-DOS -- wow. I thought it was a cool thing to make patterns across the screen by writing a particular line of code. What we can do today, even playing around, is much more than we ever dreamed of back then. I'm truly amazed. [Click blog title for link to Livescribe]

When the going gets tough, the tough go.... shopping.

2011-01-19T09:36:00.000-08:00

Me and my friends refer to shopping as "retail therapy" when it's taking the place of other personal coping techniques. This is because we tend to shop when we're feeling angry, confused, out-of-sorts, or...well...just plain bored. I like shopping during these occasions because it takes me away from the following:

Rude people (if shopping online)
Mundane house chores
Homework
Stress
Boredom

and it also makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something! I'm aware that this sounds trite and superficial, but I think we all need to lapse into a state of semi-consciousness for brief periods of time every once in a while.

For instance: If I'm irritated at my (fill in the blank) and I decide it's more in my head than it is in "blank's" behavior, I'll oftentimes decide not to say anything about it. To anyone.

C'mon now -- haven't we all had a bad day and we know it's "just us"?? Shopping is perfect for this occasion! I can pick an item (or three -- to up my chances of finding at least one) to buy at the store and when I find it -- hooray! -- I've succeeded at something and my mood goes north. Try it sometime. I bet the marketing geniuses out there will love you for it.

Taking Steps Forward

2011-01-18T10:39:00.000-08:00

I found an interesting article on exercising with pedometers on sparkpeople.com, and realized it can be applied to more than just exercise. Here's the text of the article:

"Researchers from the University of Tennessee asked overweight women to clip on pedometers to track their steps. They divided these women into two groups. One group was told to aim for 10,000 steps a day (the common recommendation considered to be "active"), while the second group was told simply to walk briskly for 30 minutes, most days of the week (a common--but minimum--fitness recommendation). The study found that the step counters averaged over 10,000 steps daily, while the minute counters averaged between 8,270 to 9,505 steps on the days the DID meet their 30-minute goals, and merely 5,597 steps on the days they didn't exercise for 30 minutes. The researchers conclude that setting your goals in steps (rather than minutes) may be the best way to increase your overall activity."

This applies to life as well. If we're concentrating on just "taking up time," we tend to do little to expand our horizons. If we concentrate on just taking one step forward, our actions tend to have more meaning. Missing the "forest for the trees" is a common mistake people make when focusing on moving forward. Instead of just knowing that their actions count, as long as they put effort into it, they get caught up in the details and see minor setbacks as failures rather than what they are: mistakes. Hopefully, you'll try this one step forward idea out and you'll see that it's the action of moving forward that matters the most.

What does a stalker look like?

2011-01-17T08:52:00.000-08:00

My experience:
A recent email I received from a former abuser prompted me to do some research. You see, this person wouldn't leave me alone and continued to violate my personal boundaries and my home until I called the authorities and they were able to deal with the situation themselves. This resolved the issue over a prolonged period, but sadly this is not always the case. Most women who call the police instead of ignoring the stalker and finding other ways to protect themselves (a la "The Gift of Fear" author's suggestions) end up dead.

"The stalker may attempt to woo their victim into a relationship by sending flowers, candy and love letters, in an attempt to "prove their love." However, when the victim spurns their unwelcome advances, the stalker often turns to intimidation." -- University of Tennessee at Chattanooga
*[Click on the title for the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga's website]

Descriptive Statistics:
This prompted me to look up some information on what the common thread is among these people. I wish there was a more p.c. or a more descriptive name to call these people, as "stalker" just isn't heinous enough for me. The University of Tennessee at Chattanooga apparently has a Stalking Resource Center, something every community could benefit from. Following are some common traits among stalkers:
"Stalkers in this class [Simple Obsession} are characterized as individuals who are:

Socially maladjusted and inept
Emotionally immature
Often subject to feelings of powerlessness
Unable to succeed in relationships by socially-acceptable means
Jealous, bordering on paranoid
Extremely insecure about themselves and suffering from low self-esteem."

Another factoid (law.jrank.org): "According to one study conducted by the National Institute of Justice, 8 percent of women and 2 percent of men have been stalked at some point in their lives; 1.4 million Americans are stalked each year."

Take threats seriously. It's better to be safe than sorry.

How does time expand?

2011-01-10T20:39:00.000-08:00

I was writing an email to a friend today, a friend who was lamenting the fact that her time seems to get filled and she's not working a regular 9 to 5 "job." I can soooo relate. It's like the old goldfish-in-the-bathtub adage: our activities will expand to fill the time (container) we have to hold them. It works the same way for my purse, I've noticed. I typically have found myself with a huge bag and hardly any stuff in it and then, before you know it, I've got a full-blown suitcase worth of stuff in it!

But what rubs me raw is when people think that being a Grad Student isn't "enough." Do you have a job, they ask? Well, no, not in the strict sense of "I work for blah blah blah and I do blah for them."

But am I a full-time mother -- not just in name but in action? YES!

Do I put all of what I have into my relationship with my fiance? YES!

Do I put all my academic prowess to work when I'm at school and/or when I'm working on schoolwork? YES!

(Really, at this point, I'm waiting for "Flo" from the Progressive commercial to come running at me with a pricing gun)... But I digress. My Lasik Surgery Doctor, whom I saw today for a 9-month follow up appointment and learned that my vision is 20/15 *breathing on fingernails and rubbing them on chest* pontificated on the Grad School subject with me for a bit. We both wonder why people think that Grad School is just a cool thing you say -- and then, poof, someone hands us a degree. It's a LOT of hard work. And well worth it. Perhaps I shall focus on the gratitude I have for being here once more, because, that is what it's really about. Gratitude. And not caring too much what other people think.

If only my head didn't have a brain...

2011-01-04T18:57:00.000-08:00

If it were possible for my head to explode, I'm sure it would've done it already, but darn-it-all, I'm really testing the limits of my brain's capacity for information.

Second day of the second quarter of Grad School, and you'd think I'd have this thing down by now but nope: I AM A NERVOUS WRECK ALREADY. Don't get me wrong. I know I'm blessed to be here because, by any stretch of the imagination, I should *not* be. Even. Here. Period. Given my history and background, I'm miles and miles away from where karma would've chosen I be. But I'm not. So, again I thank God and my friends and family who have supported and continue to support me, and take another step forward...

One quarter down, 11 to go...and a Master's Thesis.

2010-12-12T22:00:00.000-08:00

So, I made it through my first quarter of grad school! I'm so excited, I almost forgot how to spell...
I'd really like to make some improvements to my blog, and I've noticed of late some blogs out there that are pretty appealing, and made with Blogger to boot! If anyone out there has suggestions for how to alter mine, that'd be great...so, now I'm gonna get back to the topic of school.

I don't like giving a medication all the credit, but I gotta say this: School is hard. Getting out of bed shouldn't be.

After trying Abilify for an entire quarter, I'd have to say: One-and-a-half thumbs up. I'd give it a full two thumbs up if it wasn't so difficult for me to propel myself to do most things. Conversely, I'd say it works well for depression on the whole, and my outlook on life has improved as well.

Writing is still difficult for me. But after writing almost 50 pages this past quarter, and managing to pull an A-average throughout, I'd say I'm doing okay. Now, it'd be even better if I didn't need 12 hours sleep per night. Onto bigger and better topics. VACATION, anyone?! ME-me-me-me-meeee!

So this is what my school break looks like so far: I've decided to somewhat plan my break so it doesn't slip through my fingers like sand through my hands. I've even scheduled in "appointments" with my very good friend, N., and another woman-friend I admire greatly. I also have scheduled a morning to volunteer at the local facility for recovering teens--this will be the third time I've been blessed enough to be asked to come help with group sessions. I'm excited for that as well. Then, as of the following week, my child and I will be on break together, and we'll have to play it by ear from there...

I am a Non-Moving Object. Hear me... do nothing.

2010-12-09T12:00:00.000-08:00

Harken unto the following definitions of "procrastination":

Noun

procrastination - the act of procrastinating; putting off or delaying or deferring an action to a later time

Now, THAT sounds harmless, but I like this one even better:

"procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday" [Don Marquis]

So, what's all this about, you ask? Simple. I'm procrastinating. Of course, in order to do this, I have to have something I'm supposed to be doing instead of what I'm actually doing, which I do: homework. I am the queen of Procrastinationville. The editor-at-large of "Procrastination Weekly." The president of Doing-it-later-nation. I speak Procrastinese. I mop with a... okay, you get the point. I could go on, but I have homework to procrastinate on! Skeedaddle, y'all!

The Experiential Experience of a Lifetime

2010-12-05T20:17:00.000-08:00

I really can't complain -- or, at least, I won't. It's the Sunday night before Finals week and I'm studying so much that my brain actually wants to go to sleep without my permission. I might let it. And this just might be the shortest blog entry ever. I think I'll find some statistics regarding insanity's correlation to Finals week at colleges and universities...be right back...

Okay, so when I plugged in the search query "college students stress intervention" the following categories of articles came up: Coping behaviors (13), Post-traumatic Stress (12), Alcohol (11), and Meditation (8), with various subcategories coming up when I filtered for the Meditation category. Within the meditation category, I found an article by Sharon Sears (I like her research) on "I Think Therefore I Om: Cognitive Distortions and Coping Style as Mediators for the Effects of Mindfulness Meditation on Anxiety, Positive and Negative Affect, and Hope." Yeah. That *was* a mouthful.

So, since I'm a student of psychology, I'll wrap up the details of her research in a tidy little package so my readers can easily digest the information: Out of three types of meditation (brief focused on loving kindness, brief focused on one's own attention, and longer duration focused on both loving kindness and one's own attention), the lengthy meditation served to "significantly reduce anxiety and negative affect and increase hope." (Sears, 2006)

This is interesting to me on two levels: First, it takes a well-designed research experiment with enough subjects to deliver a sound result in order to get a *significant* result; second, it impresses me that a college student would study the topic of meditation and its correlation with stress. The reason for my shock and awe is that the general public, and many college students as well, think of meditation as an accessory to life, an option. I have felt for some time now that meditation should be practiced by anyone who wants to benefit from its stress-reducing properties and/or become more mindful of what one is doing in the present.

I, for one, like either of the two results. I think that the practice of mindfulness allows one to fully experience living his or her life "in the moment," and thereby reduces the need to review experiences (as we do: "Aw, I shouldn't have done/said that.") later on in the day. At the very least, mindfulness allows us to stop watching the clock, or at least, be mindful while we're doing it. ;-)

Dead week? Where?

2010-11-29T13:51:00.000-08:00

Dead week is, for reasons that remain unclear to me, the week before finals. They call it dead week because it's *supposed* to be the week where the campus remains free of most students who normally attend classes. That's NOT how it works here at CPSLO. In fact, the computer lab is packed with students. I can only imagine that their instructors did the same as mine and assigned papers and such to be due the week before finals.

I myself have not one, but TWO 12-page-or-so-give-or-take-5000-pages papers due this week; one is due on Thursday and the other is due on Friday... speaking of that, a computer just opened up in the lab. Gotta go!

Empathy means everything...

2010-11-19T06:25:00.000-08:00

Click on the blog title and you'll see what I mean. The mayo clinic actually has a doctor who's "seen the light" as a result of writing his blog--apparently, all the comments from people who suffer from depression got through to him when he opened himself up to them. I say this because after nearly 10 years of being in the mental health treatment system, I just recently encountered my first doctor who took the time to say "This must be really hard for you."

Don't get me wrong -- being bipolar, recovering from addiction, and having been a victim of both childhood abuse and domestic violence has made me very grateful that I'm even able to get out of bed, much less be a candidate for graduate school. I'm aware that I'm not the only one who's gone through these things either. Also, I've had medical professionals involved in my treatment in the past who have taken the time to congratulate me on my "high functioning" (another term for fighting like hell every day). But I can't even put into words the meaning of having one medical professional, just ONE, getting down to my very human level to let me know that he knows it's difficult to go through what I go through every day just to get out of bed.

Unfortunately, I'm one of the people for whom medication has cut the edge, but not removed the symptoms. I still deal with anxiety, especially social anxiety. I also have difficulty concentrating (on a major level...what was I talking about? just kidding). I see my world in shades of gray rather than color -- if you're clinically depressed, then you'll know what I mean. I'm irritable to a fault. Thank goodness for understanding family and friends!

I also do not expect medication to be my "cure all." I get out in the world and interact with others, even when my paranoia's screaming that they're out to get me. I chat up the clerk at the store in order to get practice conversing with others on days when I've holed up in my home. I call people when I don't want to (that's a big one for recovering addicts, according to my field research).

And I keep trying. I talk to my doctors and I'm open to medication changes even when I'm convinced this "new one" can't possibly make more of a difference than the 27 (yes, really) medications I've already tried. I have side effects that are all but expected at this point. I'm sensitive to medication and stress. But I keep trying. And that's the point.

Read the article attached to the blog title. Maybe you'll get inspired. Then, start talking about it. There's no point to suffering in pain. My heart goes out to all those who suffer with depression and other disorders.

Hmmm...I guess if I want to have a blog, I have to be human, too...

2010-11-17T17:15:00.000-08:00

So, I've been thinking for some time now (okay, years) that I should perhaps let the general public into my inner world -- meaning, that I should start writing off-the-cuff. After all, I'm trying to get across to you all that this is a real human being typing this stuff. I figure, for my writing to be applicable to anyone who's trying to go to school and raise kids both, and for it to be inspiring enough for the disabled, I should perhaps get into more of my struggles than my seemingly "normal" peers have going on in their lives. This is real life here, folks.

Getting out of bed in the morning, for me, is hard -- and I mean, EVERY DAY. I wake up and I'm exhausted and this is a regular occurrence. It occurred to me today, however, after reading an exceptionally forward status update (on FB, you guessed? 2 points! You're right!) that my exhaustion is not me being abnormal. I'm sure it's a remnant of the depression whose butt wasn't proverbially kicked by medication. Unfortunately, in my quest to fine tune this medication thing, I ran across Abilify.

Diagnosis? Bipolar Disorder, NOS. I also have Chronic Depression, Generalized Anxiety, and PTSD along with Bulimia in partial remission, but the main focus of my medication-go-round is my Bipolar Disorder. I present with anxiety and irritability in place of mania -- and whoa, Nelly, you better watch out for that irritability on some days because I even irritate myself. But Abilify and me aren't such great friends after all. In fact, this Abilify thing is driving me nuts. To be more specific:

I started on 2mg and almost immediately noticed a weight difference. I actually thought I was pregnant at one point. I went off of it for 2 weeks to see if the weight gain would reverse itself and *thought* I lost weight (but according to Dr. office scale, it was sadly not the case) -- I went back on the Abilify at the1mg level for 2 weeks, then just upped the dose to 2mg again last Friday. I can't hardly fit into my formerly loose pants (formerly, meaning a month and a half ago). I'm going crazy over this. I'm thinking about going off of it again. So, I start posting things like "Medication with weight-gain-side-effects should be made illegal" and "Drug companies should foot the bill, at the very least, for new clothes" but aside from the tongue-in-cheek humor, I'm really getting anxious and depressed over the weight gain, and quite perturbed as well! Since these are the symptoms that the medication I'm on is supposed to address, I call it a push. What do you think?

Distracted, much?

2010-07-27T23:33:00.000-07:00

To say that the 4th of July threw me off track is a complete understatement. Watching "Julie & Julia" has reminded me of the importance of my blog, no matter who is (or is not) reading it. After all, the internet immortalizes the least of us, and my goal is to leave in my wake links to the plethora resources that have enabled me to succeed in school.

Did I ever mention that I got into grad school? I'm still blown away, so forgive me if I have. Besides being off school and using it as time to research new and valuable resources and scholarships, I have been full-time single parent, whittling away at the month-plus days left of the summer. I just do my best to entertain. :-)

Not only that, but also the getting readiness of the upcoming quarter has been under way. I simply could not find the best desk for me after countless fruitless hours searching for one on the internet. Thus, my significant other has done his best to make my ideas for my very own custom-made desk come to fruition. God bless his creative little soul.

Anyways, my goal of "One scholarship each day for Monday through Friday of each week" has failed miserably. But the scholarships I have researched thus far are posted on here. And, when I get back on track, you will be the first to know. Have a great day!

It's a Scholarship Search Saturday!

2010-07-03T16:01:00.001-07:00

Since I didn't get time enough away from my housesitting, parenting and significant-othering duties to actually post yesterday, I'm making up for it today.

I decided to take my housesitting duties and turn it into a "staycation" of sorts (about.com has great ideas on how to do this yourself). I'm simply pretending that I'm far enoug away from home to warrant down-time and the weekend helps me do this as well. When the house phone rings, I don't become attached to answering it because it's not even my phone! Nifty.

Anyways, the point of this post is to give you another scholarship lead. This one is for those dedicated to volunteerism in their communities. Who has time for this? You'd be surprised at how your selfless efforts boost the morale of more people than the act was originally aimed at.

Try: http://www.altrusa.com and check for scholarships at the national level, or use their chapter "search" tool to find a local chapter in your area.

Now to go dip my feet in the pool! Have a Happy 4th of July!

-- Sent from my Palm Pre

Another Post?!? In the same day?!! You got it, scholarship hunters!

2010-06-30T23:28:00.000-07:00

So, since I'm house-sitting for the next three weeks (and the watering alone takes about 1 1/2 hours), I figured I would post tomorrow's website for scholarship hunters today. After all, it's only another 31 minutes 'til tomorrow. Enjoy!

http://www.collegeanswer.com/paying/content/pay_scholarship.jsp

The above link goes straight to scholarship tips, techniques and information useful to the college student. However, if you need more generalized college information, go to the main website: http://www.collegeanswer.com

Hello New Scholarships!

2010-06-30T09:28:00.000-07:00

After winning a $5000 scholarship (WET scholarship for mental health professionals; search Google.com for the scholarship details), I decided to purchase "1001 Ways to Pay for College" by Gen and Kelly Tanabe (order via amazon.com -- I got mine for about twelve bucks!).

In this amazing resource was a website for scholarships and loan forgiveness programs for people in the health professions.

So, my new goal is to research at least one scholarship/loan forgiveness program, etc. per day (Monday-Friday) and I'll post some of the results here on my blog.

Then, it occurred to me that since I am a non-traditional student, and that there are others of us out there trying to get through school and take care of "non-traditional student duties," that I would post resources to help all of us succeed with those duties.

Here's my "website for the day" for scholarships. It contains links for loan forgiveness programs as well as scholarships for health professions (this includes mental health and nursing):

http://www.oshpd.state.ca.us/HPEF/Schlrshp.html

My significant other is trying to help his mother (who has dementia and emphysema) get sufficient care so that he can continue to go to school and work. This, I have discovered, is not an easy task. I am a community resource hound, so I dug up this next website from a free local paper. You should do the same, but here's the one I found for my area:

"Central Coast Commission for Senior Citizens offers free services: Senior Connection - connecting callers with local resources; HICAP (Health Insurance Counseling and Advocacy Program): one-on-one assistance for Medicare beneficiaries, consider long-term care options, and help with billing/appeal problems; Vial of LIfe - a magnetized container for the refrigerator with medical information; a Senior Resource Directory for San Luis Obispo or Santa Barbara county (ask for a referral to your county) - and more. For information ..., call (805)925-9554 or visit www.centralcoastseniors.org "

At least I'm consistent

2010-03-16T14:56:00.000-07:00

Just realized after clicking on my own link to the wedding dance I posted last, that I haven't posted anything on here since the end of last quarter. Good time to update, eh?

It's the end of my final quarter of my Bachelor's Degree program at the highest ranked California State University (CSU) in the state. I haven't allowed it to set in, since I just finished my Senior Project on "Resilience Factors of Single Parent Undergraduate University Students" last week (with an A-, thank-you-very-much!) and two papers down this week already, with a two-final stretch toward the home plate. In other words, I'm not counting my breaths, or holding my chickens, just yet. Just wanted to express my gratitude for the support I've received thus far and will hopefully continue to receive from here forward.

So, where to go from here? Well, this past Friday, I interviewed for the Masters of Psychology program at the same university and have high hopes of getting in. But... you know, the chickens and breaths thing again. ;-)

I hope to volunteer locally, and desire to work with children directly. Any suggestions are appreciated. But, if you don't feel like having your comment moderated, I have some leads to go on. I at least hope *someone* has read and gotten something positive out of my college experience --> oh yeah! And I'm gonna have to change my Blog Description because I'll no longer be an undergrad! WOW! Good grief, how time flies... and my oldest will be picking up her high school diploma the same month I'll be getting my Bachelor's Degree diploma. I love my life.

So, I have a sense of humor. And no desire to type papers...

2009-12-10T13:05:00.001-08:00

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I needed a break from all the studying and academic typing I've been doing for three months straight, and this did the trick. I hope you all enjoy it. It's not contributing to academia whatsoever, but everyone needs to laugh! After all, "Laughter is the best medicine!" (I dare say, that was at least a contribution to the medical field)...

When in doubt, write a paper....?

2009-12-04T13:18:00.000-08:00

I've been busy, according to the date stamp of the last blog entry. I "should" really work on that. But I'm done "should"ing on myself and don't have time to, for that matter. I've got papers to write!

So, my first and foremost priority is my Senior Project, due officially one week from today. And I only (?) have one-and-a-half chapters to write. That's right. Chapters. But, I know I can do it. Why, you ask? Well, that brings me to priority #2 and the second paper.

For my Child Abuse and Neglect class, I wrote a 6-page paper on C.A.S.A. (go to www.casaforchildren.org for the national website and you can even use their look-up function to see if your local area has one also) which is a special advocation program for children involved in the juvenile court system. This is for the worst child abuse cases -- those that require, more than likely, to be placed out-of-home. The C.A.S.A. worker advocates for the child by assessing the child's home environment, feelings about their home life, and attending all court dates with the child to be the child's voice. It is estimated that 4 out of 5 recommendations by C.A.S.A. staff are approved and enacted by juvenile court judges, according to the national C.A.S.A. website.

Third and final paper is for my graduate-level Family Intervention class on three members of two different generations of one family and their interpretation of how their family operates. My assignment is to assess the family for any issues that may show up as more serious problems later and address those issues by applying two Therapeutic (psychological) Models to the family that would be most beneficial to them should they be in counseling.

Heavy material! All for good causes and it helps me identify with my more altruistic side. I love it, I gotta say. And now to work on my Senior Project, "Resilience Factors in Single Parent Undergraduate Students." Seems that Cal Poly just adopted a new group to support people of this particular demographic and I'm hoping for the best for them. If I can be part of it, all the better! Have an awesome day!

Does worry really cause warts...? ...Or just ulcers??

2009-08-27T09:11:00.000-07:00

Since I have remained silent thus far about the economic crisis, I thought that the prompting of the new Mad Magazine would give me a good excuse to bring it up. After all, who are we kidding here? People who thought that buying a home was the American Dream ("people" such as myself) are now coming to the realization that it may be just the opposite: the American Nightmare.

Having had the fortuitousness to be able to live vicariously through home owners and stock holders, I have come to appreciate my education, friends, and children that much more (and not necessarily in that particular order either). People don't go away when money disappears -- unless it's your portfolio manager. Children don't suddenly turn evil when the usual "Saturday Night Out" is replaced by an economically feasible "Saturday Night In". Love has no measurable monetary cost.

Which brings me to the point of this post. Worry has a monetary cost, in the form of medical bills. According to the theory of Somatic Experience, when one encounters stressful events that they allow to build up in their body instead of experiencing, processing and developing a solution for, the effects of the pent up stress cause physical manifestations of illness to appear in the body. Somatic Therapy is the process by which the person learns to stay in the moment, present in their own body, feeling the sensations of the experience and allowing the feelings to process and find a natural resolution. This allows healing on a holistic level (body, mind and spirit). Read about Somatic Therapy here.

I hope that the current money situation in your life allows you to get closer to what is truly important in the grand scheme of life: the intangible, human experience through love in the form of people and passion for life.

Come on over to my lemonade stand...

2009-08-21T12:25:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been over two months since I've blogged, and for good reason. I've had a close family member and another close friend both pass away within that time, and meanwhile have been trying to find the state of mind to carry on day-to-day activities without losing my... well, you know. Grief is a strange process. To say that there are only five stages of grief wouldn't be doing it justice.

Grief ebbs and flows; it's not meant to be forced, nor is it meant to be swallowed. The sadness one experiences can be buffered by a close family or friend network, lots of personal space to process and feel feelings, and proper self-care techniques (as has been mentioned in my blog before). But the coddling and caring for the grief itself is not to be understated. Sadness and loss are two feelings all humans are familiar with, yet do not welcome near their front door. It is perhaps the acceptance of, and allowance for the presence of these emotions that allows us to heal. I welcome my grief. It is my chance to perseverate on the feelings I have for the individuals I lost and the gratitude I hold for the absence of pain in their lives.

A friend shed a new light on me regarding this subject today. She explained that perhaps we don't need to get mired down in the process of grieving and, on the contrary, celebrate what the person meant and still means to us today. Simple, yet it works. This has given me the personal power to recommit to my daily living tasks, feel a little more in control of my world, and step out in faith to keep challenging my fears and taking risks to create positive change in my life.

My hats off to the author of "Turning Lemons into Lemonade: Hardiness Helps People

Turn Stressful Circumstances into Opportunities" on psychologymatters.org. Commitment, control, and challenge are the keys to finding oneself with a pitcher full of glorious lemonade, instead of a bucket of lemons. Which would you rather have? Check out the article by clicking on the title to this blog entry. It's worth a shot.

A Worthy Cause for Worthy Humans...

2009-06-18T00:06:00.000-07:00

Something I've been interested in for some time is taking a missionary trip/volunteer trip to a foreign land (be it Mexico, Brazil, Australia, or India, as this entry is about).

With my responsibilities at home (school, children, single-parent status), and the fact that I actually am a responsible human and don't intend to abandon any of the above, plus taking care of my home has prevented me from caving into my wanton desire to serve fellow humans and throw my proverbial hands up at U.S. society at large. BUT... being the internet troller that I am, it doesn't stop me from dreaming. Besides, they say (whomever the "they" people are in reference to this quip): 80% of goals that are written down are achieved.

So take that and put it in your happy cap. And check out this organization!

Educational and health awareness activities with slum kids in Goa

Link: International Volunteer Work Camps in India

Goa August 10 - August 23, 2009

Volunteer project: Situated on the west coast (Arabian Sea), lies this small touristic state of India. Goa was the former Portuguese colony in India. It is one of India's most cherished and prominent places for travelers since many years for its remarkable palm-fringed beaches; a travelers paradise.
Groups of international volunteers along with a local group of specialists have been part of an awareness program all throughout the state for several years. This year again a volunteer project will be conducted but with a different theme.

In the first week of the project, the volunteers will be visiting the schools and rural settlements of the region to present the importance of health and hygiene awareness and the need of education among the adults and the children. The volunteers need to be very creative in designing the exclusive orientation for the people of this region. Volunteers who participate in this project need to bring materials and ideas for the program, after which the whole group will settle on a plan of action decided by the team.
The place where volunteers will work is the largest slum in Goa, where most of the inhabitants are migrants and whose children do not have access to basic education. The international volunteer project aims to provide basic education to these children. The program will be mainly in schools/orphanages where the management will invite the parents and the surrounding villagers to visit and absorb the message given out through the presentations and plays.

Language: English

Accommodation: In a guesthouse, in shared rooms.

Location: Panjim city, in Goa State. Panjim is the capital of the state of Goa. Panjim is accessible by air, domestic and some international airlines fly directly to Panjim Airport. The nearest international airports are Mumbai and Bangalore. Trains and buses operate on a daily basis from Bombay and Bangalore.

Age range: 18 and over

Extra fee: 10,000 Indian Rupees (about $193 US)
The extra fee is intended to support the hosting organization who does not have sufficient funds. It is due upon arrival on the project

I am a Neutered Psychological Stud

2009-06-01T16:24:00.000-07:00

I'm not a boy -- let's get that out of the way before people get confused by the title... and on with the sponsored message of the day; brought to you by TONS of Diet Pepsi and a whopping truckload of frustration.

This quarter of college can best be described by one word and one word only: UGGGGH.

Trying to remember what I'm doing in 10 seconds has taken a backseat to providing edible meals for my offspring and fielding attitude-inflected comments from the elder one. So has paying rent (and of course electricity -- who needs lights going out in the middle of a study-session already on the brink of ending as soon as it begins?) I have even overlooked calling my landlord to inform him that the cooler has gone on strike, a second blow to having my neighbors constantly slowing down to see what I'm doing in the kitchen because he's neglected to provide window coverings for that window after the umpteenth request (okay, maybe only three, but c'mon! Gimme a break! I finally took dark curtains and made a stand-in that will work for now, even if I can't see my hand in front of my face during broad daylight hours.)

So, I guess what I'm saying is that I'm Brain Dead -- officially. After much internal debate over what I must be missing in my diet or lifestyle by clearing my head of the obsession that the answer was on the internet, I came up with three posts from different blogs and websites that indicate that I'm either already checking off the mental checklist of remedies as we speak, or some version thereof. Here goes the list, given by Google and read with rolling eyes and a sneer by me:

Diet Changes/Focus: "Brain Food Helps students Power through College Finals" http://www.askstudent.com/health/brain-food-to-help-students-power-through-college-finals/

Stress Reduction: "Finals stressing you out? Try meditation"
http://www.collegenews.com/index.php?/article/using_meditation_to_rid_yourself_of_anxiety_05062009942136/

Things I misled you all and I actually have NOT done in any way, shape, or form (i.e. sleeping enough, not worrying, etc.): "Tips for Taking College Finals"
http://hubpages.com/hub/Tips_for_Taking_College_Finals

Okay, so I lied about doing all three and actually stretched the truth a bit on the second -- who has time to meditate when you have children and 14 units? But I did try deep breathing (just to clear my conscience). It's not that I expect anyone to read this, but if you are, I'd appreciate some feedback...

Fatigue and Endometriosis

2009-04-22T21:46:00.000-07:00

(click on the title above to access the article I'm referencing in this blog post)

I have always found it difficult to deal with juggling parenting, full-time university student, volunteer committee Vice Chair, and other various responsibilities. However, I have faithfully practiced the art of denial in most cases where I felt like I was lacking when I failed to have enough energy to complete the tasks of the day.

Through researching vague leg pain (quite sharp and distinct in feeling, vague in cause) I found a link to reality and non-reality: a close family member has endometriosis and chronic fatigue. I have experienced the intense "urge to nap" more often than not in my life and wanted to call it "chronic fatigue syndrome" but it didn't seem to match the symptoms I was finding online. Enter the vague leg pain: it has gotten worse over the preceding months but around the same time every month (I'll leave it at that) I get a sharp shooting pain in one or both legs starting at the lower back or hip area.

Since I was in pain this evening, I thought I'd research it online and at http://www.endo-resolved.com/fatigue-article.html you'll find an article on self-care--a concept quite foreign to me until lately. It also has links on endometriosis. Check it out.

And, oh yeah, I'm no longer dwelling in the Desert of Denial. My fatigue is real. I choose to take care of myself today and thank God for the internet! :-)

Watch out for the evil octopus... ;-)

2009-04-15T19:09:00.000-07:00

I was bored out of my skull in Genetics this evening and would rather tell you about the octopus than the fact that I finally took allergy meds and am happy to state that I am no longer trying to scratch my eyelids off or pull out all my eyelashes... enjoy! thanks to eureka! science news.com (either click on the title above or copy and paste the code below into your browser...
http://esciencenews.com/articles/2009/04/15/tentacles.venom.new.study.reveals.all.octopuses.are.venomous

Facebook Users and Lower College Grades (click on this link for story)

2009-04-14T20:22:00.000-07:00

As if it wasn't sad enough to give up what little I *had* of a social life, now they're saying that Facebook use has been linked to lower grades in college. Although there's more than one study that has shown results similar to this type of result for Facebook usage, I believe there still needs to be studies done to counter this argument. :-)

Source: esciencenews.com

New Methamphetamine Test -- Industrial Hygienists Create Instant Test To Identify Traces Of Crystal Methamphetamine

2009-04-14T00:19:00.000-07:00

Just in case you were thinking that law enforcement had forgotten all about our "Meth Problem" in the United States, here they go -- or went, according to the date on the above-referenced article -- being innovative in finding new means by which to alleviate some of the fears and dangers to meth-lab cleanup crew members, as well as spark a new flame of worry under the heinies of those currently involved in meth-lab usage.

Here's the background info:
ScienceDaily (http://www.sciencedaily.com/videos/2008/0310-new_methamphetamine_test.htm#) -- Industrial hygienists developed a quick swab test to identify dangerous residue of toxic chemicals left behind in the creation of homemade methamphetamine. This test works like a pregnancy test. Swabbing the suspected surface leads to a color change if meth is detected, allowing for safety precautions and immediate clean-up when necessary.

Research Interests and Varying the Content of My Blog

2009-04-13T23:55:00.000-07:00

Hi y'all! This is just a check-in to let you know that I will now be posting sites "of academic interest." These websites and/or links to articles will give the reader/perusing blog follower a chance to see what my academic interests encompass. A few of my more broad interest categories are as follows:

1. Drug Addiction/Alcoholism; particularly the biopsychological factors that play a role in establishing and maintaining addiction

2. Addiction's Effect on Family Subsystems

3. Child Abuse and Neglect

4. Bipolar Disorder

5. Prevention of Teen At-Risk Behavior Through Use of Supportive Measures

6. Program Development for At-Risk youth

And I can't even seem to remember a 10-item grocery list...

2009-01-28T16:21:00.000-08:00

Hey y'all. Taking a break from 4.5 hours of research lab work and almost 2 hours of class to share the following link:

http://laurafreberg.com/blog/?p=417

Go to it, read it, watch the clip -- and the whole thing and actually pay attention to what they're saying (I seem to have trouble with this quite a bit myself)... and voila! You'll actually learn something new! I love it when that happens despite my grumbling and digging-in of heels.

It's about a savant named Stephen Wiltshire. Don't know what a "savant" is? Go look at the site!!! It's good!

Thank you Laura Freberg for enriching our minds and managing to have a sense of humor at the same time!

Should I even bother?

2009-01-15T11:43:00.000-08:00

Hey there, campers. I'm baaaaaaaack!!! I don't think I'll be mentioning how much time elapses in between my posts anymore for there's just no point. I took a quarter off (I think most people who know about a pinkie toe's worth about me can attest to the fact that I was losing it...) to take care of health issues that I'd been putting on the back burner for over two years. And it was causing a blooming of other health problems for me (sort of a mushrooming effect, I'd say). So, a bone scan, a serious vacation, and some quality time learning to take care of myself later, I'm not all perfect and shiny, but I AM a lot better.

That research internship I was doing in the Summer of '08 taught me this: I DON'T, and I repeat (picture me screaming, and pitching a fit on the floor and banging my fists) DON'T LIKE TO ANALYZE DATA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hopefully I got my point across, but I think that internship was the straw that broke this camel's back.

BTW, I got an "A-" in the Memory and Cognition class I was taking. Apparently, I'm smarter than I like to give myself credit for...

So, now I'm doing the second half of that research internship as a requirement for my degree, but I've got a far better "job" this time: Community Service Coordinator for the mentoring program I had previously analyzed data for. I rock it, I think. As long as I report what I'm doing to the professor and Lead Mentor, I've pretty much got free reign to set my own agenda as long as I complete a set of tasks the professor gave me in the beginning. Cool beans.

The other two classes (after I serve my obligatory 12 hours a week in the lab) are my Behavioral Effects of Psychoactive Drugs and Multicultural Psychology classes. I've heard that professor who used to teach the Psychoactive Drugs class used to bring in a "box of drugs" to show as examples to the class (I'm assuming they weren't someone's blood pressure medication, if you know what I mean.) The current professor's pretty dry but she does come up with some off-the-wall stuff to talk about sometimes.

Anyways, gotta go, I got work to do. But I bet if you've read any previous posts on this blog, you already knew that.

Synonym for CRAZY, please?

2008-08-14T15:30:00.000-07:00

I can now unequivocally state that I have been, or currently AM, the following :

absurd , amok , bananas , bats in the belfry, batty , bizarre , bonkers , cockamamie, crack-brained, cracked , crackpot , crazed , cuckoo , daffy , daft , decrepit , delirious , dementate, demented , deranged , desirous , dilapidated , distracted , dotty , eager , erratic , fanatical , flaky, foolish , frantic , gaga , goofy, harebrained , haywire, inane , infatuated , insane , loco , loony , lunatic , mad , maniac , meshuga, meshugga, nuts , preposterous , psycho, rickety , senseless , shaky , silly , strange , tottering , touched , unbalanced , wacky , weird (courtesy thesaurus.com -- another website I love)

(although, I don't know what "meshuga/meshugga" mean, I am sure that if it is anything like "bats in the belfry" then it's spot on!)

Should I explain why I haven't written a post in so long? Guess that's the point of this whole dealy-yo here called a blog, eh? Ok, here goes:

Started a research internship (in a lab, with a lot of numbers and letters -- for hours at a time -- staring at the stuff, typing it, writing it down, erasing it, analyzing the ca-ca out of it. Picture it. Then you'll know what I mean.)

THEN, three weeks later, started a 5-week class, on Memory and Cognition, no less. 'Kay, before you say "wah" to my dismay, let me explain.

A 5-week class is only offered in the summer (that must be when the people in charge take their vacations cuz I'm sure if they found out the amount of convoluted crazyness they try to shove in our brains in a short period of time, they'd be in disapproval).

A 5-week class takes all the information from a regularly timed 10-week, quarter long class, and smooshes (yes, that's a technical term -- my brain's mush, gimme a break) it into half the time, with nearly all the same assignments, but definitely covering all the material (if you take one with this instructor). He's a great instructor -- it's just that he's at a level of intelligence that should be illegal -- and I'm not diggin' it, at least not with an Ebbinghaus-style enthusiasm. I don't dive into it as readily as, say, abnormal psychology. That stuff is ooey-good (another technical term, thanks for asking).

Meanwhile, 2 weeks remain in this class, and I still have a 2-page paper, a 10-page paper (conducting an experiment) and editing for a 5-8 page paper for my internship. Oh yeah, that last paper is due tomorrow. Help me. Please.

This is all said with a touch of humor but a bucket of insanity. I don't think I should even be typing right now. I should be lying down... um ...like THAT'S gonna happen! I laugh in the face of adversity and challenge. I claim rights to an extraordinary Helper I choose to call God and pray for some relief to claim some time of my own in order to practice relaxing (that's where I try to pretend I know how and sit there in quiet reflection trying to read all the while my head's saying "Is this what I'm supposed to be doing right now?")

Assuming anyone's still reading this post, if you pray (and I highly recommend you learn how if you don't) pray, hard. My elder child is on a flight to Texas as I type. My younger is awaiting the train called "Mom's Limo Service" and I'm gonna hit the library for some non-school mental edibles before I begin my route.

Alright, so I lag...

2008-07-12T10:58:00.000-07:00

Yes, my life IS hectic. Don't think that just because I run around at a frenetic pace, that I think I'm exempt from blogging. I hope y'all missed me!!!

Times, they are a'changin'... I have another child coming to live with me soon, so I will be single parent to TWO children now instead of just one--this does NOT mean double the parenting; it works in a compounded-interest sort of way. I am excited and extremely scared. There is not really physical space for three girls to be living in our limited square footage, let alone sharing a bathroom, but we'll make it work!

I am starting a five-week course at school here in a couple of weeks (that said, I should throw this in: 5-week courses at Cal Poly in the Summer mean that they pack 10-weeks worth of instruction into half the time. The particular course I chose to take is known for it's daunting courseload and subject matter at the 10-week pace -- what can I say, I'm a glutton for punishment!) I just want to juggle all the balls in my circus-of-a-life in an orderly fashion (is that a misnomer of sorts???) Once, again, I think I may be expecting too much. I just want to do a good job at all my duties. Once again, a little (or a LOT) of prayer here couldn't hurt a bit!

All that said, I just started a Research Internship for my first quarter to prepare myself as an undergraduate to have a stellar resume-of-sorts to send to grad schools so that I can pursue a higher degree (I plan to get my PhD. but what I work on is what will happen, God-willing)... I just have to do the footwork. So, now it's on to GRE's, grad school research (which I've been doing for at least a month now) and applications galore. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers!

Grades, schmades...

2008-06-19T12:54:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I didn't get any "F's" this quarter, but once again I am disappointed in my grades (and the "worst" one was a B-plus!!! The rest of this post makes me sound like I'm not even showing up...) I think it's just the culmination of frustrating factors throughout the quarter that's gotten me down so much:

1) Taking a 3-unit class with a workload of at least 4-units (a Research Methods class, to be precise)

2) Not being able to get on the Dean's List for the FOURTH quarter in a row because I had a one-unit C/NC class (to round out the aforementioned 3-unit winner). This continues to be a frustration for me because I am either taking a 1-unit class to fulfill finanacial aid obligations because the class I need/that is available (often these two do not coincide easily) is a 3-unit class like I just mentioned.

3) Busting my heiny all quarter long -- in general.

4) Taking 4 classes (one of which does not apply toward my degree) and getting the worst grade in that particular class -- THIS IS THE WORST BUMMER OF ALL.

My goal had been (and I will continue to strive for this anyways) to raise my GPA throughout the time I spend at Cal Poly. I have succeeded thus far. Until that last class. And, I put forth all my best effort I possibly to squeeze out this quarter. So, I need to be happy for myself and all the hard work I put in. But, for now I shall settle for emailing the professor and finding out what kind of grading technique he used and why he and I agreed I performed at a higher quality level this time around in his advanced version of the course but failed to get a higher grade.

That being said, I AM SO GLAD IT'S FINALLY OVER!!!

WELL, AT LEAST FOR NOW... I START A RESEARCH INTERNSHIP IN 4 DAYS. PRAY FOR ME, Y'ALL!

Humor in finest form...

2008-06-03T17:31:00.000-07:00

Just a quickie -- I thought this was really funny:

"When you get a BS you think you know everything. When you get your MS you realize you know nothing. When you get your PhD you still realize you know nothing but it is ok because now you know no one else does either."

I found it on a Student Doctor message board. I don't think it's original, so hopefully I don't have to worry about copyright infringement.

Parenthesis Overload

2008-06-01T12:28:00.000-07:00

quotient (def)- "the ratio of two quantities to be divided"
a.) proportion - the quotient obtained when the magnitude of a part is divided by the magnitude of the whole

As much as it gives me an ego-trip (wait, where'd she go???.....) to know I scored 132 on an online IQ site (and trust me, I could use the ego-boost sometimes!), I wonder if the whole premise of the thing (not doing in-depth research, and all) is that the test compares one person's intelligence to another's (this is measured by questions such as: "If you were given the letters 'G-F-N-E-A-L' and asked to rearrange them, would you come up with the name of an
: A) cat B) building C) city D) store ). Of course, for copyright purposes, I modified the question, but you get my drift.

I wonder (and I REALLY wonder -- so much, in fact, I went and looked up "Mensa" at the local library and picked up a book on their kind of brain teasers since I received an on-the-cusp of a Mensa-qualifying score on the particular test I took) how qualified this type of testing really is for measuring intelligence because it certainly doesn't measure common sense (in my opinion, common sense is choosing to do the appropriate thing for the situation at hand regardless of the level of pre-existing intelligence) and I have proven this. Who came up with this test, anyways? If you know, I'd be more than happy to let you do the research because I'm too busy avoiding my it-took-me-all-quarter-long-to-write-this-research-paper paper that's due in three days to do it myself. Go figure (refer to previous posts to see this pattern of avoidance in full effect! Go on, I dare ya'!)

But, for now, I shall continue my love affair with (parenthesis) and continue on my merry, having a 132-IQ-that's-readily-accepted-by-most-Americans-as-making-me-smart, score and smile all the way to my flash drive which holds the file necessary to determine this student's decision on "Will She or Won't She: The Student's Avoidance Procedure of Research Papers".

Time flies even if you're not having fun

2008-05-21T13:45:00.000-07:00

WOW-- cannot believe it's been three weeks since I blogged. But then again, I can. It's been crazy during the week trying to (as always) balance motherhood, student duties, and recovery. But I do try my best. That's all I can do: pray and keep trying. But, with the exception of last weekend, it's been crazy on the weekends as well as during the week -- crazy good though.

The weekend after I came back from Yosemite from the Soroptomist International Awards Ceremony, I took my younger child to two California amusement parks, tickets courtesy of a family friend. All I had to do was come up with accomodations (which someone approached me about sharing, read: sharing the cost) and so it was set. Even though I had a Midterm in one of my classes the following Monday (meaning I'd only be able to study in the car, the hotel, and at the parks themselves) I went anyways. And, it was worth it. I actually took my book in with me to one of the amusement parks and I got an "A" on the Midterm, so who says you can't mix fun and work!!!

Last weekend, we had two BBQs to go to, plus a committee meeting of mine on Sunday. The Teen Challenge Program came and spoke at the church I attend, which was really cool to see. It's nice to see acceptance of mistakes on a grand level -- I can definitely relate to big mistakes and acceptance from others, and I and my children benefited from seeing the program participants doing well also.

So, I realize this blog entry is mostly about my weekends and not much about my weeks, but I am living a full life and happy to share it.

By the way, check out my new "Inspirational" music list. I needed the lift and hopefully you all will find it useful as well.

Blessings and Hurdles

2008-04-28T13:34:00.001-07:00

Went to Yosemite Area to accept my award for the Soroptomist International Sierra Nevada Region. I was second in a number of applicants (don't ask me how many). There were over 300 people in attendance for the event that weekend -- officials for the organization, club members from 44 different clubs all over California, other award winners and guests) and when I got up to speak, I felt eerily comfortable. I received a standing ovation from -- I dunno -- over 200 people and it felt AWESOME. I met wonderful people who are all dedicated to advancing women in this world in so many ways, and I was so happy to be a part of it!

My children and my accomodations were paid for (read: "WOW") so we headed into the Yosemite Valley after we left the event and experienced the waterfall that I haven't seen since I was a kid. My younger one got to see snow for the first time and was pleasantly overjoyed by just getting to play in it. I received "thank you's" aplenty and was in awe of the whole thing. God is awesome. So I thought I'd put a picture of Yosemite in here to cap it off... (I took it -- thank you very much!)

So, this is a good model of me today. Seems like I always blog when I'm feeling especially productive or when I'm feeling especially -- NOT.

Anyways, lots of tasks to attend to and I'm having issues with a couple of classes and a couple of professors' teaching styles are conflicting with my ability to soak up the information (right now, my "sopping up" ability is more like a rock than a sponge.) Makes me want to give up when they seemingly change the materials that are posted online and email notices at 11pm the night before class for the next day's class period.
I have to take a break from school in order to remain among the non-insane. My disability significantly hinders me from accomplishing all the tasks necessary for school-- WHOA, actually I realized I've never talked about my disability on this blog --
so here goes:

I have a disability, work with Disabled Student Services and am receiving treatment outside of school for it as well. I have been diagnosed as Bipolar I, which according to some information I found on the internet is the more severe of disorders between Bipolar I and II.

**Update (5/16/08): I was originally diagnosed with Bipolar-NOS in 2000/2001. Bipolar-NOS, according to my research, is a miscellaneous category used to put people who have symptoms of Bipolar Disorder but do not fit a specific category of the disorder in order to have a diagnosis of Bipolar I or II. At some point in time, to which I was not made aware of, my diagnosis was changed to Bipolar I -- I was under the impression, until about a month ago, that I have had the diagnosis of Bipolar-NOS this whole time. In trying to address a different issue of diagnosis with the mental health staff, I was made aware that again my diagnosis had been changed back to the Bipolar-NOS category (which I was also not told about) and in trying to address that issue with supervisory staff to get it changed back to the specific category of Bipolar I, I was told that it would not be changed. This is extremely frustrating for me to have my diagnosis go from a miscellaneous category to a specific one (which, I believe is conducive to more accurate forms of treatment for the disorder) then back to a miscellaneous one and to be told it would not be changed back again. In my opinion, this clearly shows the impotence of the public mental health system and is very unfortunate. I also find it interesting that the Patient Rights Advocate to whom I spoke with told me that in the twenty years she has worked for the agency, NO ONE has asked to change their diagnosis (but apparently she was mistaken; I was told by another staff member that there indeed was another person who successfully petitioned to have hers changed). Again, more inadequate information and handling of a person's situation. We are all human beings and deserve to be treated with respect and as though our opinions matter -- no matter who we are.**

My symptoms fluctuate on an ongoing basis -- and that's an understatement. I have depression, anxiety, racing thoughts, disorganized thought patterns; frequently have difficulty maintaining active attention on tasks and information, difficulty organizing tasks into proper sequence, get tired very easily (this may be related more to my thyroid disorder than my bipolar disorder, but it's still the case); get frustrated easily, am very irritated by noise (especially repetitive noise) and other issues I'm sure I've left out. A good example of my disability in action for me on a bad day is this: I remember distinctly one day, not being able to coordinate my thoughts into sequence in order to finish making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for my child. That sucks.

All symptoms I suffer from (whether they are listed here or not) are exacerbated by both stress and poor sleep (less than 7-and-a-half hours seems to be inadequate, according to the documentation I've been keeping since last August). This doesn't lend well to the life of a full-time student at a State University, full-time mother, and person in recovery. I am always very dedicated to my commitments both in the home and outside the home (sometimes to a fault), but school always has to come second to my health and my children -- and, sad to say, even they have had to "wait" for my attention when school or recovery commitments arise.

Needless to say, my plate is full. I have God on my side, though, and that's what really seems to carry me through. Gotta tell ya' praying is highly underrated! Anywho, if you can make sense of any of this and have something constructive to add as a comment, feel free to do so. Otherwise, it won't get posted!

And it comes with an angry panda, too!!!

2008-04-13T11:10:00.000-07:00

Isn't college awesome?!?!?!?!? After all of the wonderful culturally-exposing experiences I've had at Cal Poly so far, and now DreamWorks (creator of the "Bee Movie" among many others) is coming to campus to discuss media challenges. They even sent this poster as a media campaign to get students to attend their discussion.

I'm just in awe of all of the great things I've been exposed to so far at this campus. I just volunteered this weekend with my younger child at the local Children's Day, a city-wide event that actually started out as a Cal Poly Senior Project -- and since this is the 30th annual Children's Day, it's obviously a success!!! Although it was warm, I was able to expose my child to the idea of volunteer work and get to know some of my classmates as well. I even got to chat up one of the girls in one of my classes who is also a parent herself and we got to exchange the challenges of being both a student and a parent and the pull one feels from both of those roles on a daily basis.

All in all, a great weekend!!! Also, just a reminder to self: Just because I think I want to be at home and in bed doesn't mean I would enjoy myself more at home and in bed. After I actually got to the event, I was so happy I went! Not to mention the free t-shirt...

Shouldn't I be excited?????

2008-04-08T16:57:00.000-07:00

Noting from the numerous question marks above, I think I should. I've gotten all the classes I wanted to get for this quarter (registered for 24 units to begin with, now I got to get to dropping some -- but one was a waitlisted one so I'm sure it's been taken care of by now).

Trying not to let my brain get the best of me. Got a lot going on but I believe I'm handling it the best I can! Praying helps too. It reminds me that I'm not the one in charge -- but I would love to think I am!

Thanks, by the way, for the comments and encouragement to those of you who have commented on my blog; You know who you are!

Anyways, gotta run -- gonna get a new set of specs. Yee HAW!!!!!!

Life after school...

2008-03-24T11:12:00.000-07:00

I guess my fictional audience isn't so "fictional" after all! Thanks to "anon reader" for checking in. It's nice to know I have company in going to school.

I have a WHOLE WEEK off -- which sounds like more than it is when you're in finals week and need a break. Now that it's already after 11am on Monday, it seems like I have too much to do and no time to get it done in. Think I'll work on giving myself a break real quick.

Oh yeah! HAPPY EASTER!!!

And I'm 3 and "o" after the 3rd...

2008-03-21T18:41:00.000-07:00

Nice to know I'm capable of carrying a full course load and not going postal or clinically insane! In other words, to reference the above blog title, I have SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETED MY 3RD QUARTER AT CAL POLY!!!!!

Thank you... I can hear you all cheering me on now.... thank you for your support (like how I have a fictional relationship with my non-existent audience? Leads one to assume differently on the aforementioned "insane" comment, eh?)

I am a winner!!! No, really. Not only have I been doing well in school, but somebody (actually, some people) think I'm special and that I should get an award for it. SWEET! I am really blessed today. God gifted me with my brain, so I gotta give Him a LOT of the credit. My blood, sweat and tears ain't lookin' so shabby either!

Now, if I could just figure out this "home repair" business... I've been breaking entirely too many things that I don't know how to fix! My furniture is taking the brunt of my yoga-and-push-ups-sculpted brawn and I just broke my coffee table day before yesterday. Wow, better lay off them steroids. Seriously, though, I'm almost convinced a man's brain is far more home-repair inclined than a woman's. Prove me wrong. Please. Then come over to my house, ladies, and fix my coffee table. Yeah. That's it!

Now I gotta figure out what to do with all my free time.... hee hee

God Bless America!!!

2008-02-27T17:16:00.000-08:00

Well, at least, that's what I say when I am perturbed at "people" in general. I picked it up from my good friend Mary (thanks Mary! this one has saved me many a time in front of my children.)

The reason I say this at this point is because I'm starting to see a pattern with my history/political science classes. I go to great lengths to explain that I am, by nature, a non-political person and that that particular genre of study is "not my thing." Then I go and get decent grades on the exams when I'm taking the course Credit/No Credit due to my lack of faith in my ability.

Gotta tell ya' though: I'm still glad I'm taking THIS Political Science course Credit/No Credit. My instructor --bless her heart, she's a nice lady, but far too advanced for me in her lectures-- asks questions of the class when she is lecturing and you could hear a pin drop (or crickets chirp, etc.) in the time it takes anybody to say anything in the class. I have no idea what "issues were predominantly the same in both Carter's and Clinton's presidencies" or the differences either! I am, however, pulling A's on the exams. Go figure.

Well, just wanted to vent and have that be the point of the blog for once. After all, is ANYBODY EVEN READING THIS???

Who invented caffeine, anyway???

2008-01-30T15:18:00.000-08:00

Oh yeah, since I'm a "smart one," I forgot caffeine is a naturally occurring substance. You wouldn't be able to to tell, though, with the way manufacturers keep sucking the stuff out of biology and shoving it in cough-syrup-tasting drinks. And Starbucks are like legal drug dealers--okay, so --I'm a little tense. Just because I took another midterm today (seems my midterm from yesterday was lonely) and so I just had to jack myself up on caffeine before the exam. Wow.

Did you know that we human beings have actual receptor sites for nicotine (these are to our brains like loading docks are to the shore)??? SO glad I don't smoke. Anymore. But I gotta tell you, this courseload I've got makes me want to pick up the habit again. Not gonna. No way. I have saved my lungs (not to mention the environment and OTHER people's lungs) for way too long to go back to that.

...BUT, looks like I'm gonna have to give up caffeine. It's wreaking havoc on my nerves. I just don't see how that's gonna happen though. My biopsych professor from last quarter is my hero-- she still drinks at least 8 cups of coffee a day (used to be up to 20). I love coffee.

Gotta go, more school related stuff I gotta do!

And it costs money, too...

2008-01-25T16:20:00.000-08:00

So, here I am in a veritable crockpot of classroom sewage in my mind. I've got a dumpster full of information in the 3rd week of school and it's all sloshing around in that good ol' apparatus I call my head.

Now, to sort it out. Too bad they don't make a computer program with a little computer man that crawls in your ear, cleans out the "useless information" (i.e. knows whether or not you'll ever need it again), and simultaneously organizes the rest of the information in your head into neat, little, cross-referenced categories.

Like say, for instance, I wanted to know how Article III of the Constitution applies to the Judicial Branch of the U.S. government (which, we're pretending I actually WANT to know this-- I'm only using that as an example because I have an exam on it next week and just got out of that class so it's firmly embedded in my brain) and cross-reference that information with everything my instructor has ever hinted is going to be on the exam. Voila! I would only study that particular information and would scoot it neatly into its own mental folder labeled "Poli Sci, Exam I" for easy access when I take the exam! Instant A!

Of course, they're just now getting to the point where they're microchipping people's passports and dogs, so this may take a while. But for all you computer nerds out there, get on it!!! I'm drowning in information here! Thanks...

By the by, I dropped the USCP course and am taking another GE course for credit/no-credit instead. Yay!

Don't institutionalize me for being smart...

2008-01-17T16:10:00.000-08:00

I have a brain that thinks all the time -- whether or not it has permission from me. I remember one time, not too far back in the cave of my brain I call "memory" the morning I woke up and I was already IN MID-THOUGHT. I didn't know that was possible.
Well, now I do! Howdy doody on that one, folks.

Second week of the quarter and I'm not as insane as I was last week. Beginning to see the difference between busy work and actual things worth taking my time on. I have discovered a very reading-relevant fact about myself: if I think what I am reading is important, I read REALLY slowly. I mean, REALLLLLL - l- - -llly, slowly. It's annoying. However, I shall find a way around this as well. Well, I got a full load of classes and a limited number of hours in my day.

Gotta go!

HELP, I can't b-r-e-a-t-h.e.....

2008-01-09T16:44:00.000-08:00

First week back at school with a full load this quarter. My anxiety is through the roof so I just thought I'd write about it to take the edge off.

Been praying -- a lot -- lately. It's not so much doing the work at school and at home that gets to me. It's the in-between times when I don't have anything to do that I well up with an overflow of anxiety that, if converted to food units, could feed an entire country it seems.

I want to eat my stomach right now, then maybe it will quiet down a bit. But rather than to disembowel self, I shall disengage. Time to leave campus and see what goeth on in the "real world."

AHHHHHHHHH-I-I-I-I-I-I-I...

2008-01-01T13:47:00.000-08:00

...can't wait for school to start so I can stop trying to eat my own stomach from anxiety. Seems I've taken test anxiety one step further straight to insanity.

I'm taking two Psychology core courses and a GE class that fulfills a "USCP" requirement (which is a fancy way of saying: "Hi. We've packed so much dry course material into this class you will either die from boredom or be comatose by the end of the quarter. Have a nice day - oh yah, and by the way, that'll be five hundred-and-some-odd dollars please. Thanks.")

Okay, so I'm being a bit cynical. OKAY, so A LOT cynical. But I'm just trying to get it out of my system before school starts so I can be drained of all negative energy and have nothing left but to knuckle down and do the dirty work. Oh yeah, and go to class...

BY THE WAY, HAPPY NEW YEAR, Y'ALL!!!!!!!

N-O-O-O-O-O-O-OOOOOOOOO..............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-18T13:55:00.003-08:00

I got an A minus in English. Bummer. I am really upset though; with all the people in my life asking me how I'm doing in school, I was getting rather fond of saying I had a "Four point Oh" at Cal Poly, of all places!!!

Oh well, guess I'll just have to do the very best I can -- wait a second, that's what I have been doing!!! Can't fault myself for trying, right? So, for all you fellow OVERachievers out there, give yourself a break. I am.

No blood, NO FOUL!!!

2007-12-12T15:58:00.000-08:00

Can't say I exactly went through finals week with a box-full of enthusiasm and a lack of stress (I was so stressed, it was coming out my earballs, yes earballs.)

I am, however, happy to say that I got credit for one credit/no credit course and an A in BIOPSYCHOLOGY!!! My English grade has yet to be determined (the poetry writing class) but I'll keep everyone updated. If I get an A in that course, I'll continue my 4.0 Cal Poly GPA. Yay God, and yay me!

To all of you who have asked how I was doing and dealt with the sideways "I'm stressed" glances and responses: I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It is people like you and my Biopsych Professor Laura Freberg (who was the Anonymous comment on the last post) who keep me going. I am blessed...

Finals? And I'm not even homicidal!

2007-12-04T09:31:00.000-08:00

Ha-ha, to all you college students who KNOW what I'm talking about... it's Finals week. The week where everything seems to have text written on it and no one seems to be saying anything worthwhile unless they're speaking in the vocabulary of the class I'm preparing to take a Final in.

Thanks to wise class choices given me at the beginning of the quarter, I ended up with 3 classes for a total of 10 units. However, my English class required a Final Portfolio in lieu of taking a Final during Finals week (yes, I'm trying to see how many times I can squeeze the word "Final" into this post) and another one of my classes didn't even have a Final. So, for all you math majors and (out there in the "real world"-- accountants,) that only leaves me with one Final to take! Yay me!

So, given that I already have over 100% in that class -- Biopsychology -- which I am extremely proud of I might add, I am using my procrastination skills to my advantage and blogging on my own site rather than to review the material at this point. But, this being Tuesday and the Final being on Friday, I've got plenty of time, right? All you procrastinators are snickering right now. Thanks for your support.

Whoops...

2007-11-14T11:16:00.001-08:00

I neglected to finetune my brain during midterms, and forgot that my Biopsychology instructor has a thread on her blog that links to mine, therefore giving ample opportunity for everyone in that class (including Ms. Freberg -- sorry!!!) to view my admission of my not-so-stellar studying techniques.

To be perfectly honest, I actually wrote down a list of all the things (that require my time, appointment-making/attending skills, or attention) and the LIST (mind you, it was a list, not an essay on the list itself) and it took up an entire page!!!

So, I'd say I have a lot going on, wouldn't you? To top it off, this is a post-midterm state I'm in. Pray for me -- I sure could use it!!!

The power of prayer -- and of studying like a crazy woman

2007-11-07T10:26:00.000-08:00

So, I didn't really study as well as I could have for my second Biopsychology midterm. HOWEVER, I solicited prayers from everyone I thought God would listen to (he he) including my child, who's under ten....

And studied like no one's ever seen me study before -- okay, that's not entirely true. I study like that whenever I'm in a panic. And it worked. I got an 89% which is pretty good considering it covered everything from neurotransmitters to the sexual disorders and how they come about (XY genotype, XYY genotype, Kleinfelter's syndrome, Androgen-Insensitivity, etc.).

So, I guess you could say, for the first time in a looooooooong time, I'm pretty happy with a B.
Yay me!

Check out the survey....

2007-11-05T11:25:00.000-08:00

In my mode of "avoid avoid avoid studying for my midterm" I have added a somewhat-interesting survey to the bottom of my page. Hope you enjoy it! Gotta (actually) study -- again -- now!

Where am I, a rubber room?

2007-10-30T13:35:00.000-07:00

Although I should be sanctioned to the aforementioned cube, the reason I wrote the headline is to get people's attention for the following:

COMMENT ON MY BLOG, PEOPLE!

This blog wasn't simply created for my amusement -- rather, it's a tool to remind me that I actually DO exist outside the student sector of the planet. THEREFORE, it is mandatory I receive contact with the outside world for this to take place. So, in that light, comment or email me at will. Thanks!

Just checking in...

2007-10-23T11:42:00.001-07:00

My adoring fan (singular, ha ha) reminded me that I have a blog yesterday, so I feel compelled to write.

Must I write? I just completed three assignments for two other classes including an essay for my Poetry Writing Class on "Why I hated the poet I just went to watch on Sunday" (I didn't really name it that, but it sounded more interesting than "Poetry Reading Report"). It was supposed to be 500 words, by the way. And just to add extra emphasis to the fact that I have terminal verbal diarrhea, it turned out to be closer to 950 words. OOPS.

Anyways, chronic over-achiever that I am, I had a meltdown yesterday. Seems that when I was attending community college, I got into a habit, albeit a routine, of taking naps whenever and wherever necessary (even in my car in the parking lot of the local library). Since I decided to be a full-fledged Poly Dolly, I've suddenly decided that I should try to function sans nap. NOT A GOOD IDEA. So, I dropped everything, and I mean everything to nap yesterday. Day went much much better, thank you very much.

I am hoping this, however: to all students, previous, present and future -- I welcome any suggestions, however small, as to how to balance this bucket of chaos I call my life and all the accompaniments thereof. This includes children, school, doctor's appointments, grocery shopping, housecleaning, cooking, etc. etc. ETC. HELP!

I'm gonna get extra credit for this???

2007-10-09T11:30:00.000-07:00

So, since I routinely have to give myself a little breathing room when it comes to my grades, I chose to take one of my professors up on a little EX CRED challenge: posting comments to her blog online. (It's a good site! Check out www.laurafreberg.com !)

The assignment is simple: read a blog entry and post a comment that contains more than the words "that's cool...". So, I chose to comment on her "The Thrill of Victory and the Agony of Defeat" post. It's all about how we strive to win, even though people will say [read: lie] about how it really isn't all about winning. Here goes:

"I couldn't agree more with Garrett [USC's athletic director.] Ever since I was a child, I learned about the Psychology of parenting by observing my own. My mom always TOLD me that I needed to be a good sport (apparently I had inherited the competitive gene from my dad) whilst my father would SHOW me how to win (i.e. "keep your eye on the ball"). I can't imagine that anything in life is worth doing unless it's worth doing well. And, in order to do that, you have to try to win.

It is the basic psychological principle of positive reinforcement. We try to win, because of all the accolades we receive when we do so -- the trophies, the pats on the back, the cash money, the "atta girls (or boys, for the guys)." Thus, the rewards for winning reinforce our behavior to such an extent that we try to continue the same behavior over and over again to receive the reward.

Unfortunately, one cannot control all the factors involved with any given scenario (such as the weather, competitors, or controlling exactly what one ate that day and how many milliliters of water one consumed). So you get our Marion Joneses of our generation, trying to up their edge by injecting chemicals to make them have the edge biologically. Why would one go to such lengths? It MUST be all about winning..."

My, oh my, whatever am I to do???

2007-10-04T10:47:00.000-07:00

So, like, this school thing is really taking a toll on my social life... Just kidding -- actually, I really have to say that I am getting used to PRACTICING balancing my life out: school, kids, personal commitments (after all, I DO have to deal with me all day whilst I behave like a rabid bunny looking for victims; I seriously remind myself of the Tasmanian Devil sometimes.)

If there's anything I've learned from Cal Poly, it's this: you must PRIORITIZE. If I don't make time for schoolwork, I have no time for anything else because I'm too busy stressing myself out about my unfinished schoolwork to concentrate on anything else, much less enjoy myself. Even one of my kids is feeling the strain (I swear, words that should never come out of a kid's mouth: "I didn't have time to get it done." What's even more slave-driver-ish of me is that the statement keeps on being TRUE!!!)

So, back to the splinter-infested drawing board I go: let's take another whack at this thing called life...

My brain, for breakfast

2007-09-20T11:03:00.000-07:00

Not to make mention of a line from the movie "Heathers" (which was one of THE best black comedies ever filmed -- stars: Christian Slater, my first celeb love and Winona Ryder, the first celeb shoplifter) but my brain may as well be a breakfast treat for random stray dogs at this point.

The first week back at school has been murder on my mind -- however, I am managing and obviously this post made it up on my blog, so I've still some brain cells to spare.

A little useless trivia: the fact that we as humans only use 10% of our brain space is A MYTH; we use it all, even if it's not all at the same time.

A little more useless trivia: there is a "reward center" located in the brain that was discovered by Olds & Milner in 1954. The reason it was discovered is that they trapped laboratory animals in a setting which would require them to cross an electrical field to get to their food and water. The animals chose to starve themselves (probably to death, considering PETA wouldn't have a cause if it weren't for the deaths of many fuzzy rats and bunnies). But when they were given the choice to cross the electrical field to have the "reward center" of their brain stimulated, they heartily moved forward with gusto! This reward center is one and the same with the area of the brain that is stimulated through METHAMPHETAMINE USE. Bad side effects, though. So, do we have an epidemic for no reason? Apparently not.

JUST THOUGHT YOU'D WANNA KNOW THAT. I, for one, found it fascinating -- especially since I learned it in my Biopsychology class. Go figure.

Alright, NOW WHAT?

2007-09-11T13:09:00.000-07:00

So, now I'm in between quarters and it has been recently brought to my attention by one of my adoring fans (har har) that I have neglected my blog. Quite right, my friend, quite right! I tried to explain that I had gotten burnt out at about the sixth week of the 8-week Summer quarter, but just ended up talking out the side of my neck.

Truth be told, I was figuratively holding my breath throughout that first quarter at Cal Poly and now my skin has a figuratively bluish tint to it. I just exhaled after the quarter was over and ran in the opposite direction of educational responsibility is all.

Well, now I have less than a week before the Fall Quarter of 2007 starts and they're saying (although I have no idea who "they" are) that there are going to be 16,000 students in attendance this quarter. So much for sanity. Or my tolerance level tapering off much either. Oh well. I give -- NOT! The day I give into the world of money-grubbing-daddy's-credit-card-using-not-attending-class-wannabe college students is the day I LITERALLY hold my breath for an entire quarter. At least I won't be alive to see it... and obviously my sarcastic wit is still in tact after all this time.

Got my books, now in search of THE backpack of a lifetime. Wow, my world has gotten so small. Tee-hee, I'm loving it all the way.

duh...what's my name?

2007-07-26T11:44:00.000-07:00

I have a cold--for the first time in over TWO YEARS. This is a SIGN. I am stressed. I cannot think straight. I must be in college. Two plus Two is definitely starting to look like 22, and my brain is mush with over 3 weeks to go. Didn't think I was that tired or stressed, but apparently, being a Cal Poly student AND having a life is not possible for this woman. Although I try -- let's see what else I can fit onto my plate. Aw, heck, just gimme a platter!

THE THINGS WE DO FOR SCIENCE

2007-07-06T14:29:00.000-07:00

As if I don't feel enough like an experiment in my daily life, I'm sitting here in the public library (sans home internet connection, which I am very sad about -- well, okay, I'm permanently pouting over it) producing another entry for this blog as I sit with 3 other windows up on the computer.

I'm in the process of trying-really-hard-to-not-try-too-hard to do my extra credit assignment for my "Culinary Science" class (at least that's my newfound nickname for it.) The instructor wants us to look up what "conching and tempering" of chocolate mean. Hey, at least it's mildly interesting, since it focuses on one of my major obsessions: sweets.

On another note: I just spoke with a woman whom I shall call "S," who was a former Cal Poly Student, Graduate Student, and is in the throes of trying-real-hard-to-figure-out-how-to-write-a-thesis-and-have-a-life.

S. and I share one thing in common: domestic responsibilities. Having been a re-entry student and acclimating myself to the fact that I obviously don't look like a re-entry student (e.g. no one glances at me twice on campus even though I exceeded the normal undergraduate age about seven years ago), I am now pursuing the arduous task of figuring out how to balance a FULL home life with a student schedule. I realize that I am not the average Poly student. I know this (hence, the reason for this blog.) However, as was pointed out to me by S., it is within the realm of reason to assume no one -- outside of my immediate circle of friends and acquaintances-- cares. Not that they should. I'm sure at this hour, most of my classmates are busy figuring out which color and style of shirt will show the least amount of beer stains from the kegger patrol they plan on appointing themselves to for the evening.

Ha -- NOW I feel better -- poking fun at the true Poly Dollies always fixes me just fine.

So, boys and girls, can you spell i.g.n.o.r.a.c.e.i.s.b.l.i.s.s.????

Done, I'm done and on to the next one...

2007-06-27T09:21:00.000-07:00

Gotta apply for scholarships now... at the reference area of the Cal Poly library... still totally disoriented by the fact that I am actually here (it's kinda like an aftershock -- I was just in class yesterday and the instructor started talking about graduate school classes and the unique-ness of the class we, as students, were taking at a "Cal State University" and I went "Oh WOW. I'm at Cal Poly!" -- again.) I'm assuming this type of mental behavior will continue to take over my brain at various unspecified moments.

For now, I must focus. Let's begin the process of sucking up for college money, shall we?

If I ran any faster, I would be nvisible

2007-06-11T11:37:00.000-07:00

For what it's worth, I'm scrambling my own brain just to keep my mind preoccupied and off the panic that is ensuing per my upcoming "big girl" college starting date. It's only 11 days away, and I've ordered the main texts, purchased the instructor-written/published documents from the college bookstore, taken my daughter to the campus (just so she could see where mommy's going to go to school), and dug my old bookbag out of my closet in preparation for riding the bus to and from school. I even bought a thermos to take yogurt and such with me to school to avoid laughing hysterically at the on-campus restaurant's food prices.

With so much preparation, I might be turning into a topical hemorrhoid treatment here any day (ANY AND ALL PUNS INTENDED, THANK YOU VERY MUCH). For now though, I'm just gonna sign off and try to relax. Until we meet again...

More of the same...

2007-06-06T15:50:00.000-07:00

Just another day in the life of a Cal Poly Dolly --he he. Only TODAY, my financial aid finally came through! (It's amazing how much time hand-wringing can actually occupy).

Now that my mind is freed up for more real-life stuff, and while we're on the topic of school, my child is in the process of completing the last week at school and our 30-mile roundtrip commute will now be coming to a close, thank you very much. I know 30 miles isn't much by big-city standards, but this small-town girl is beat! I never knew how much commuting really takes out of you! Until now...

We're both happy the drive is over. Maybe I can get some things done on my house. But we'll just see about that. I've decided to count down the days until the quarter begins. So here we go folks!

Today marks: 15 days to mental impalement. Just kidding. But 15 days, nevertheless.

PRE-pre-planning

2007-06-04T10:54:00.000-07:00

I'm going to attempt to contact my instructors today to see if they are using new books this quarter. I gotta get used to saying "quarter" instead of "semester" since I've been on the life-installment plan of neverending semesters since circa 1994.

I'm grateful the books I checked out at the bookstore were both under 30 bucks a piece. That's a STEAL in Cal Poly-land. I also talked to a future-grad-coming-this-quarter yesterday afternoon. She claims that the Cal Poly Dollys aren't ALL that way. Hard to believe but we'll see. Of course, my cynicism stretches from years of being out of high school and being a single mom trying to put myself through college. But, WE'LL SEE. ;-)

Seconds, anyone?

2007-05-31T15:32:00.002-07:00

As if I don't have enough on my plate already... and I'm having a hard enough time getting this thing called a blog up on the internet for the world to see...
I am now officially official (at least to me) as a Cal Poly Dolly. Blech.

I'm not one for socializing in the first place. Let alone with the "I-have-my-daddy's-credit-card-so-I-can-do-anything-I-ignorantly-flail-at-the-general-public-and-get-away-with-it" mentality. Watching them drive around in shiny cars while mine has two noteworthy dents collectively the size of Pittsburgh is enough. Now I have to deal with those people?!

However, being a re-entry student as it were definitely has its perks. Getting extra kudos from the society at large is one of them. Being able to juggle maintaining a home, being of service to the community, and raising a family is another. It's a skill I didn't possess---or rather, didn't try to hone --- ten-plus years ago.

So, we'll see how it goes. Welcome to my life as a Cal Poly Dolly!

DISCLAIMER: Any material posted on this blog is for educational and recreational purposes only. Any attempt to hold me to anything posted on this site is null and void upon utterance. ;-)